Reviews for Fallen Love - FanFiction.Net

Reviews For: Fallen Love - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

Chiyanaski 2006-08-19 ch 3,	abuseWhat a cute n sweet story! I luv it! It's so sweet of Genis to join sweet little Mithos...TEE HEE!! Keep writing! ~Mithos FOREVER!~
ViarouraFox 2006-08-06 ch 3,	abuseWOW!! great story ^-^ finally a great story on Mithos xGenis =)I've searched all over for these stories XD you got all the parts right too =) i don't -_- i can't remember that stuff... I love your story, plz write more?
Mizuki hikari 2006-07-29 ch 3,	abusecontinue ^.^
Xekstrin 2006-07-27 ch 1,	abuseI love this pairing... AHEM, now, onto the review. You have trouble with some mechanical aspects of storytelling... WHAT YOUR WROTE... Lloyd asked him “Why are you always like that?” Zelos said while hugging him around the shoulders from behind “Because you are my best friend.” Mithos asked the silver-haired half-elf “Genis are you tired?” ...AND ANOTHER WAY TO WRITE IT Lloyd asked him, “Why are you always like that?” Zelos said while hugging him around the shoulders from behind. “Because you are my best friend.” Mithos asked the silver-haired half-elf,“Genis are you tired?” If you notice, I put a comma in the first and last lines but not the second one. That's because in the second one, when you're done with the descriptive part and move on to the dialouge, it finishes a complete sentance. Basically, what I'm saying is it would make sense if you left if alone without the dialouge it would still make sense, while the other two wouldn't. Am I making sense? Also, you should definately work on the dialouge itself. The key to excellent dialouge is to listen to how the people around you speak (or, in this case, how the characters speak in the game) and try to emulate it. Your dialouge here is rough... robot-like. People tend to use more slang and shorten things to "you're" "we're" "they're" and sometimes they make up new ones on the spot. Lord knows I do that. My advice is to keep on writing every day and READ! Read EVERYTHING! Build your vocabulary so you have more words to describe a scene. Anyway.. TTNR! (Till The Next Review)
Kaoru Koganei 2006-01-14 ch 3,	abusei liked it please make more
higgu 2005-11-07 ch 3,	abuseee, this has to be one of the best stories i've read in the tos section, then again i don't read much ;P please continue, you have a great talent for writing. can't wait for the next chapter =)
Luciado 2005-08-28 ch 3,	abuseGood jobby, Felouse-kun! It's neato to see a MALE write a yaoi story! Yay yatta! BONZAI, FELOUSE-KUN, BONZAI!
Azalee 2005-08-26 ch 1,	abuse^^ MithosxGenis is such a cute couple. I do believe there was more than "friendship" between them, but in the same time, I think Yggdrasill was just trying to get Genis in his camp. Still, it's Genis who asked that they be friends, so Yggdrasill maybe didn't plan that and just wanted to spy on them, and really enjoyed being Genis's friend... hmm... Either way, poor Genis suffered a lot more than he deserved >.< hugs Genis This is a good story ^^ I don't have time to read the other chapter(s ?) though, I'm sorry >.
Hyper-Obsessed-Fangirl 2005-08-07 ch 2,	abuseYet again my fave pairing!
Luciado 2005-07-15 ch 2,	abuseNeato. You did very well. (singing: I like Star Wars. Blah blah blah...
Riku 2005-06-25 ch 1, anon.	abuseIt's great keep it up! I wonder what Genis will answer!!
DogsruleW 2005-06-04 ch 1,	abuseEk keep going! I love this pairing so much, there's not nearly enough stories about them. Continue soon, I need to know who genis picks! ^.^ hopefully it's mithos!
Chika 2005-06-01 ch 1, anon.	abuseI really enjoyed your fanfic. There were quite a few grammatical errors, but the depth of the story covered it up. Please continue to write great fanfic!
DraconWolf88 2005-05-27 ch 1, anon.	abuseAll right! Some delectable half-elf lovin'!
E.S. Simeon 2005-05-27 ch 1,	abuseGreat, now all you have to do is make Genis betray Lloyd and the others(There aren't enough fics on that subject... and if you do, it will be the first Fic that has that with the shonen-ai... hehe...). Anyway, good job on writing this chapter, it was well written and good.

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