 Denarius 2007-07-18 . chapter 8 I'll confess this, though people who know of me on should know this already: 1) I'm incredibly impatient and have a short attention span and 2) I hate bad fiction. I really loathe people who post stupid, useless stories because they have nothing better to do with their lack of writing skills or lack the want to improve. I try very hard not to flame them. But sometimes it 's oh so difficult...Thank you for being a budding author, who wants to learn! I love people who want to learn like I love people who post the beautiful fictions I love to read. You're not up to par with them, but I can definitely see you going there if this is your first fiction. Wow, I'm impressed for your first. And that's not easily done. I'm trying to help you improve, so: structural variety! You don't make too many grammatical errors, though you should try editing more, but boost up your writing. Throw in some dependent/subordinate clauses at the beginning, use a thesaurus, try as many complex sentences as you can. Simple sentences are choppy and unpleasant to read, so use semi-colons, subordinating conjunctions, colons, brackets, commas, etc. Quotations. Sigh..I despise people not knowing how to use quotations. Every time a new character speaks, new paragraph. That means every time a a different person speaks, press enter and then tab. No periods are used at the end of a quotation when it is followed by 'he/she said' variations. All punctuation of the quoted words is used inside the quotes, never outside. But, while you improve technically: I've read a boatload of lemons, and yours was fairly well done, as far as lemons go, and especially if it's your first. It was pretty tasteful. Well, as tasteful as something out of a harlequin romance novel can be. But, in any case, keep going. I love to encourage a new writer like you who wants to learn, improve and grow. It's the best kind of author. So experiment, try something new. You're on your way. I appreciate you posting, and using this site for what it's for. So keep up and be adventurous! You never know when you'll stumble on a great opportunity. |