I think you should keep the story going the way that it is. very good writing. As a fan of the movies, I think that this is the way it should of continued. Keep up the great work. _

You have the potential for some really great battle scenes here. I think what's missing is a character who can tell us about the battles and the horrors through his own eyes so we can be drawn into it. Obviously that would be tougher to do with Gamera, being he is an animal. But I think drawing out some of his fights with the Gyaos would add to the story. Throw in a lot of back and forth action when the monsters fight.

Certainly a lot of stuff getting blown up and shot down. Gotta have that in a Gamera fic. I think the problem I had was too much description and quick overviews of the battle. I never felt part of it. That may have to do with the lack of any POV characters during the Gyaos attacks. Telling the story through the eyes of one of the pilots could help bring the battle to life. It would put the reader in the cockpit so we can be with him in this pitched battle, feel the g-forces on him as he manuevers for dear life, share his thoughts as he watches his comrades fall from the sky, feel his fears for his squadron mates, his country, and himself, and sense his elation when Gamera shows up. Instead of just saying a bunch of Gyaos got blown up by missiles or fireballs, let's see monsters spinning into the sea in flames. Put the reader in the middle of the swarm of birds and planes with missiles and lasers and fireballs streaking all around. Also, some repetitive words can be removed to tighten your sentences.

Still, you have the basis for an action-packed story. Keep on writing.

Pretty good start. There were some places were you had the same word (like now) twice in the same sentence. Also, in a few cases you can take out the word "that" to tighten up dialogue. Just a few minor things there. I think it's safe to say there's gonna be a ton of destruction soon. But of course, that's the best part of any Gamera movie.

Could've sworn I reviewed this... anyway, great stuff! The air battle was cool, though I can't speak for realism as I'm not terribly knowlegeable about such things as military tactics. I love the Gyaos though, and when I read this I really get a picture of this massive swarm. I've been thinking that Godzilla needs a mass-numbers type of enemy. I say continue, unless it's giving you real problems in which case you can always come back to it later.

Cool chapter.

Cool story.

Woo hoo! Best fanfic ever!

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bruce lee

Great job again- my only complaint is that Gamera seemed to go down pretty quickly there. he could've put up more of a fight in my opinion, but its still a good story.

...OK... what to say about this story... other than ABSOLUTELY GOD-DAMN FANTASTIC! Everything about this story is great, especially the showdown between Gamera and the Gyaos. The UN scenes could have easily gone arse-end up, but you pulled it off extremely well. Kudos to you for an excellent story so far!

Me: Ha ha, this sounds interesting so far. But one thing kinda fazes me: what's that turtle thing called? I think I missed it. Ah well, hehe.