Interesting to see Dark and Satoshi actually working together.

...you killed the Niwas. Graphically.

(Satoshi knows who Towa is, btw, and he has met the family once.)

How come you have misspellings, but then the word spelled correctly in parentheses?

A nurse accuses Daisuke of sulking when his whole family has just been murdered?

This chapter could use a little proofreading (some grammar issues and one or two typos). Heh, I was wondering how Dark and Daisuke ended up separate. I kind of like them like that, actually; gives them more "room."

Interesting to see Dark actually pulling off one of his kaitou tricks. It's funny when he teases Satoshi.

Haha, that's just like Dark, to have great hair even when it's not combed.

Couple things - one, make it more clear that it's Daisuke that gets shot, not Dark; I didn't get it 'til a few paragraphs down. Also, most people (including me) don't have enough description, but you have a bit _too_ much. We don't need to know every single gesture they make, it bogs down the narrative too much.

However, the writing is much better than most of the stuff I see around, and it's a very interesting start to the story. Can't wait to read the rest.

You realy should continue this it's really a very good story! I love it!

i really like ur story

i hope u update soon

cause i really like ur story

update soon please _

*meow*

that's the end? ... interesting... now what am i suposed to do...

Satoshi: you could work on your own fics.

me:... shut up! *RUNS AWAY*

Satoshi: idiot, Tsuki thinks you did a good job even though the ending could have done with a bit more detail and the time aftrer the niwa's death could have done to be played out more

me: i've been reading this since the first chapter was standing alone!

Cool, cool, cool, cool! *Grins* It was fun. *waves*

Curse cliffhangers even if they are fun to do in stories! I want to know what happens so please dont stop! I know its been a year but come on you can finish this story! (might make ending her self if need be) nya please finish it!

i really like ur story

i hope u update real soon

its really beautiful

and its give me hope and inspiration

update soon and make the chapter's longer please :D :D

lol... .

hm... interesting i've been reading this since it was posted, wow... yes you updated now do so a again, por sato-chan T.T kill him dark! don't die daisuke! T.T

buhm buhm buhm on to chapter 8! runs

Kick Butt! this is just awesome! i cant wait for the next chapter though i do understand the homework thing, get that done then post please!