not bad...the writing style is very good, and the characterization of Seiji, Shin, Shu, and Jun is good too.

but when it comes to plot, and the characters of Ryo and Touma, you're way off. these are Ronin Warriors we're talking about, people who have faced almost insurmountable odds, death, destruction, etc. more than once and lived to tell about it. so it's extremely unrealistic that both Ryo and Touma would starve themselves and lock themselves away from their closest friends for months just because Ryo's birthday happened to slip Touma's mind. these guys are stronger than that, and there are episodes and OAVs to prove it.

if you were to change it to something more upsetting, for example that Touma had run away or been found to be cheating on Ryo instead of just forgetting his birthday, this could be a great fic.

I REALLY HOPE YOU PLAN ON CONTINUING THIS!

*stares at the screen with a semi-blank/mad/depressed look on her face* Touma...my dear sweet beautiful Tou-chan...I really hope for your sake that you write a sequal and that the monitor is having a malfunction! *pulls out a oversized mallet to prove her point*

! You killed him! You killed him! How could you do such a thing! You killed him! How how how how? Ahhhhh! Why why why? That was totally unexpected! Man! Why'd he have to die! Now I'm sad! And it's all your fault! I wanted him to wake up and they'd live happily ever after! ::Begins to cry:: That was a TOTAl shock! Bu it was a very good story! But you've got to have him liveee! Live my dear Live! ::Cries some more:: So sad! ::cries harder:: Poor Ryo! ::Cries louder:: Why'd Touma have to pick the wrong one! AWWWWWWW!

No! How could Touma die! Can't he understand how sad and lonely Ryo is without him? If he dies Ryo will die as well! Ja Ne!

Wow, very good fic. Please keep writing. :)

You did NOT just kill Touma! Please tell me you didn't. Grrr! I wanna find out what happens! Write more, you're such a good writer!

That was so...beautiful. I can't wait what happens next. I like the way you just left us hanging. That's a nice addition. ) Write more soon, okay?

very good, loved it! Dude, he died! sad! adds to it though, great job!

Pretty good for a yaoi. And I'm not a yaoi fan!

AHHH! No! Tell us what happens! *sob, sob* O_o *composes self* Sorry, Ryo&Rowen are just SO kawaii together. I get a bit emotional.. _;;

You killed Rowan! {sobbing} Poor Ryo. {sobbing} Please write a part 2. {sobbing & begging}

ah! poor touma and ryo! please continue soon? I really want to know what happens. awesome story! ryo/touma pairings all the way! hehe _

NO! Don't let Touma flat line!

I LOVE THIS! And the coupling!

Love ya,

Sam