|Reviews for Plummet|
| Cormag Ravenstaff 11/26/12 . chapter 12
| Macbeth 7768 12/10/10 . chapter 12
Heh. I loved Sain's alliteration, I think this is developing pretty well, and I can't see what your problem is. Unless you've got writer's block, in which case, I sympathize.
Good job so far, though!
| Macbeth 7768 12/9/10 . chapter 6
Okay, I'm just gonna review this every few chapters. The story's getting along quite well, and there are just a typo of which I wish to make you aware; forgive me if it seems nitpicky, because it is truly minor, I just don't want you to look stupid.
'iss Florina'. I'm pretty sure that's 'Miss Florina,' unless there's some accent that drops the "m's" of which I am unaware. :)
Other than that, great job so far!
| SpeedDemon315 3/1/10 . chapter 12
Haha, Sain amuses me greatly. That man is just perfect as the comic relief of the story-flowery speeches and all.
I'm glad to see this story is up and running again. I look forward to the next update-Godspeed!
| Pen and Paper71 2/15/10 . chapter 12
This fic is quite good. The pairing that you've chosen is quite unique and the plot is fun and well presented, which makes this a fun read. You seem to be handling the characters wonderfully. The dialogue and the characters' actions feel natural and very in-character.
I really enjoyed reading this. Nice work.
| Mark of the Asphodel 2/15/10 . chapter 12
I'm coming into this late, so here is a single review so as not to spam you for each chapter. This is a delightful story, both in terms of writing style and characterization. I've noticed some nitpick errors ("iss Florina" for "Miss," "we" for "he," and so on) that you might want to fix, as a 'fic this good deserves to be even better. But you've drawn poignancy and realism out of a "cracky" set-up, and done so in a way that really respects the canon characters. Bravo.
Highlights- Hector is awesome in this. Tacticians often give me the heebie-jeebies, but Lord Peter seems so well-realized that I actually like him! You do an excellent job with subtle foreshadowing and follow-through. On the downside... eh, aside from the spelling nitpicks, some of the dialogue seems a little bit "stagey," like the reunion between sisters in Ch 12. But the "stagey" moments stand out because overall, the character interactions feel quite natural. Anyway, good stuff, and I look forward to more of it.
| Gunlord500 2/14/10 . chapter 12
Hey there, Wyrmseeker. Gunlord here, on behalf of the Little Circle of Reviewyness. You mentioned earlier that you don't like walls of reviews, so this one review will encompass all chapters of this fic. Hopefully that's okay. I also won't do the ol' nitpicking grammar and stuff I'm a bit notorious for around these parts, cause I don't want to leave a terribly large single review either and make things look weird XD
Overall, I think I quite like this fic. Florina and Heath is definitely a pairing you don't see too often, so I applaud your originality :) Generally, the writing is quite good and the characters from the game are well-portrayed. I also like your OCs, though, such as Lord Peter, IMO they're interesting in their own right and avoid going into Gary Stu territory. So overall, after reading this fic I can say good work, and keep it up! :D
| themindlessemblem 2/12/10 . chapter 12
Yay! I have been waiting for this installment for a while now. I'm glad that you've finally gotten to updating it.
Even if it's not quite what you were planning it to be, it's still really good. I think that this was actually a pretty good place to end the chapter. You didn't need to have Heath and Vaida in here yet. I think it will be just as good in the next chapter. It'll build up the suspense a bit, which is a good thing.
I eagerly await the next chapter of this great piece.
| Macbeth 7768 11/6/09 . chapter 1
How didn't I notice this before? This is great. I can't wait for Chapter 2!
| Rui Amano 7/26/09 . chapter 11
This was an interseting chapter.
Well written and I believe Heath and Florina is a nice pairing.
Continue to write more...
I'll be looking forward to your updates! _
| SpeedDemon315 7/26/09 . chapter 11
Hah, I sensed there was something fishy about Romul. I was thinking after he left them, "I bet he's with the bandits," and what do you know...
Great chapter; now Heath, Florina, and Kent are on the move! Those bits and snippets of Heath's past added a nice touch to his introspections. Sooner or later (probably later) Florina will come around and grant Heath's wish.
| Kitten Kisses 7/25/09 . chapter 11
Another nice chapter from you! I wish I had more to say about it, but I don't. I loved all of the brother/sister-ness between Florina and Kent, of course, and I nearly died when Heath asked Kent about it. That was a nice touch, though, and it makes good sense. (I'd be pretty darn curious, myself, if I were him.)
I also want to apologize for not getting your 'fic back to you sooner, I promise to do that later today! Thank you for your patience, and thanks also, for another update! (And on my birthday, no less!)
Take care of yourself!
| Kitten Kisses 7/19/09 . chapter 10
Finally I'm here. I'm so sorry that I take so long to get around to reading and reviewing the things that you post. Don't worry, though... I'm super slow at reading and reviewing for everyone else, too. I have a list of 'fics... Five right now. Yours is the first. (Then the other four, then I beta the 'fic you sent me.)
[“Please,” Florina said. “We'll wait, however long it takes.”] I like this. I don't know why... I think it's because I got a cute little picture in my mind of her saying that so...earnestly.
[The priest let out a sigh of relief. “I don't mean to seem greedy,” he said apologetically.] I also really like this line! (I'm finding a lot, it seems.) A lot of people forget things like that, the small, subtle things people do that others might overlook. The priest needing money, for one. The church DOES have to function somehow, and how else will they pay to keep running without money? Better than that, though, was the priest's reluctance to actually say that he wanted/needed money to help Heath and Florina. Most people would have just written him as the type who would just come out and ask, but I like how you did it. Very nice.
[Heath, I-I never would have survived the... the fall.] B'aww! I like this.
[“Okay,” she said. “I'm n-not going to cry.”] YOU CAN DO IT, FLORINA!
[“Sounds to me like we should stay in the air.”] That's adorable.
[“...did you have the dream last night.”] You need a question mark.
[All we need to do is follow the reports of the most mismatched troop ever] I think I just died. But seriously, it makes you wonder... If the army does travel (usually) in one huge group, they'd stick out SO easily.
A-And then Kent randomly shows up. I love him.
[“Kent!” Florina rushed forward and threw her arms around the knight.] I DIED OF THE CUTE. That was the cutest line in any 'fic...period. No, seriously. Florina. Hugged. Kent. And and and...HE HUGGED HER BACK. He's like an epic big brother... (Also, I want a Florina-hug, too!)
[And she believed him] Oh, and this is definitely a very important thing.
Anyway, I didn't see anything that jumped out of me, really. Personally, I'd capitalize words that start a sentence after a set of ellipses. (ie: "...So, how are you?" vs. "...so, how are you?")
But that's the only thing I noticed that stuck out, and I think that is just a persona preference.
Keep up the great work!
| Ellis 7/19/09 . chapter 10
A fantastic story! I can't say more, i'm wordless...
| SpeedDemon315 7/17/09 . chapter 10
Nice chapter, everything is moving along slowly but surely. I just have this nagging feeling that Heath's and Florina's dreams are going to come into play later and I also have a sneaky suspicion about the opponents they faced in their dreams...