M I like this story :)
I'm trying to do something similar but now im worried how it will turn out
Your story on the past is just amzing. The way you made the characters.

But If ic an ask a question, why is Guan not there?


Continue writing please

This story is AWESOME!! I read it once upon a time and read it again now. Is it over?!? You haven't updated in awhile... It's a awesome story!

again, this chapter seems filler-ish, but hey, that's ok. Need to bring the rest of the villagers into the story, after all.

So Chase has woken up... Dashi didn't notice anything pecuiliar about his eyes, so either it's too dark to see or it's gone... But he IS up and moving, so I suppose that's a good sign.

The fisherman's a jerk. but the spice merchant seems nice... are we going to get his name any time soon, or perhaps you already mentioned it? I can't remember, if you did. He seems like a good guy, though. "Spice merchant" sorta reminds me of "Jack spicer", but I suppose that'd be wrong...

How old are the three, anyway? Dashi mentions being 'way too young', but how young could they be? Two of them live for 1500 years, so setting the timeline back a ways doesn't really help with knowing their ages...

Anyways, nothing to really critisize yet. I hope you keep this story up, it's really interesting to read!
'till later readings!
~avearia

heh, Sorry, I've been living in a hole this week, with nothing to keep me company but a forest's worth of worksheets and homework. When did you update?

Anyways, about the story... hm...
This chapter seemed more transitory, from the fear and helplessnes and confusion of being trapped underground to finding a way out. It didn't contain very many strong emotions, but it was very clear and readable.

I would have thought that Chase's awakening would've prompted a few more emotions, but he just fell back asleep again anyways. He kissed wuya on the cheek? I wonder if that's going to blow up in their faces later, considering what happened LAST chapter.

Wuya's ineptness of using Shen-Gong-Wu was, again, funny. Her working with the serpent's tail reminds me of some poor kid asking 'what does this button do-gah!" and being carried off at light speed through solid objects or whatever. Because, face it, when people don't know what they're doing, it's funny.

Not much else to say about this chapter, except it sure was a treat to log on and find that you updated! ...I'm so slow on the draw... XD I can't wait for the next chapter. That book of Chase's is probably going to cause some major trouble...
'Till later readings!
~avearia

In the show, Dashi seems to always have the answer to everything, yet here (or, rather, in the previous chapter) he is completely baffled by Wuya's behaviour. Brilliant. I'm glad to see this continuing, I really want to see how it all goes wrong between the three of them. I have my suspicions, but I'll keep them to myself for now. ;)

*Stretches* Alright … this has the very valid possibility of becoming lengthy (and I apologize for that now … but I am responding to nine chapters mind you).

Please just remember one thing throughout this review though ~ I write for fun, not for a living … so take my constructive criticism with a grain of salt, because I’m still working to master a style too.

To begin with … you need to give us some more back story. Wuya and Dashi suddenly working together threw me. I’ve seen other fics that make Wuya a Xiaolin dragon … and in an AU sense I see how it can work. But you need to give me more set-up to make it believable. There are some major inconstancies that I just can’t reconcile … like if Heylin and Xiaolin are allies now, why are they enemies later (I think that might be a plot point later, but it is a major deviation from the show to have the two groups mixed). Similarly, where did Wuya learn her magic (and why is she the only one who can do it?) … did she know it before becoming a dragon, or was that part of her specialized lessons (and if the latter is the case, why can’t Dashi/Chase cast spells?). Where did Dashi get her shen gong wu (did he make them? And if so how? Where they part of the temple even way back then … and if so, why aren’t the other two knowledgeable about them? … Again, this might be another plot point … but why does Wuya crave them in the future, if she despised them so in the past?) – A bit more back-story would do wonders in helping readers see things through your eyes … because I know I was more then a little confused on more then one occasion.

Similarly, Chapter five moves WAY to fast. I was constantly confused on what was going on, because everything seemed to be hurtling at breakneck speed. It was too much action to jam-packed … you need to add in some more descriptions and slow the whole thing down (on the other hand though, your dialogue was amazing. You have a good awareness of the linguistics of your characters … and their dialogue has a very natural and smooth feel to it).

Those were the major issues I had with this fic. Other then those you seemed to have good plot progression and a firm grasp on dialogues between the group. Also, your little side details were amusing and well-thought out (IE- Referencing Atlantis … telling readers not to get attached to it because they know the city to be doomed). Overall I think the fic has huge potential … and is certainly different then the norm (I think this is the only fic of its kind that I’ve seen that deals with the dynamics of Chase/Wuya/Dashi).

So, all that being said, I look forward to more!

~Shiva’s Avatar~

(Side note ~ I might be totally off base, but for some reason when I read chapter eight’s title “Dashi Doesn’t Suspect A Thing” I immediately referenced the song from Eurotrip “Scotty doesn’t know” – but that might just be my sugar high add acting up ^_^).

Haha, Chase steals Wuya's hairbrush, XD funny, update soon plz.

Hello again. Eh, sorry if the last review was a bit long, even for me, (I was totally psyched that day, and when I'm excited, I talk/type fast. I didn't even notice the length until after I submited it... if the review was too long, I can tone it down a bit in the future...)

Another chapter! WHE! *gets psyched again* Chase is still Camatose, though... he'll be that way for a while, it seems. Just get him out of the way while Wuya and Dashi create a potential catastrophe, whydoncha? Oh well, its more interesting this way.

Meanwhile, I'm guessing whatever that book that Chase has isn't all that... um... friendly? I wonder what it did to him...
Oh, *I* get it. it was WUYA who told CHASE "Don't tell Dashi", not the other way around! ...why? *slams head on table* foreshadowing is annoying.

Anyways, I guess that's it. my advice is--just watch out for 'description' paragraphs. I had to re-read a few of 'em, but that could be because I'm slow. Just remember that while a paragraph might make sense to YOU, it might not make sense to someone else. But it's a minor thing, don't worry about it.

Oh, and BTW, I just saw 'enter the dragon', the episode where Dojo gets all shengongwu crazy, goes on a rampage? There's a line in there where Master Fung says "The last time he got out was the last time anyone saw Atlantis." is this where the story idea was born?
That's all I got to say. (re-reads reveiw and realizes it's still as long as the last one was... oops!) Please keep writing, it's an awesome story!
'till later readings!
~avearia

OMG I love this story! I love the way you characterize everyone as they were younger (Chase, bookish? Didn't see it coming, but God, it was so hillarious when he had his nose stuck in that book... it fit him really well. I laughed harder than I have since my birthday... but I'm getting off track, aren't I?..)

At first I was really hesitant about reading this, but I read it anyway. I'm glad I did, you're quite the storyteller. most of it flowed smoothly (though you lost me for a while there, right around where Dojo got supersized and atlantis started sinking, but I worked through it, so no biggie.)

One question, where is Guan? Not that I care that the bald-self-riteous-crazed-spear-loving-maniac is missing, I'm just wondering when he'll come into the story.

I like how the three of them are so human. the few other stories I've read with these four in it(three, I guess, since Guan aint here yet...) make them all seem 'hey look at me, I existed 1500 years ago so I must be godlike!' or whatever. They're human, and back 1500 years ago, the four (three) of them are the same age as you&me, same problems, and DEFFINATELY not gods. yet.
You make Wuya fall head-over-heels for cute-little dojo and you give the girl a tart personality, you make Chase worried and insecure (he doesn't want Dashi to know [insert name of secret here]... why? My guess is that he doesn't want a long time friend to see what's wrong with him... whatever,) and Dashi feeling slightly helpless with their teacher gone and a city in peril.

I also love the little quirks you put in; ex 'she did her trademark little sigh-through-the-nose...' (I can totally see that, my mom does it!) and 'look at all that gold," she said, "and jewels! and" "Books!" Yelled chase, enraptured. "Weirdo." muttered wuya.
Those little quirks make the story very convincing, and very interesting to read.

Well, I'm deffinately adding this story to my favorites. I really love it, and hope you luck on your next chapters. Please continue!
'till later readings
~avearia

Yaay! You updated again! I'm so proud of you! *stares at my own story in its cobwebs*...i'm so pathetic...

I really liked this chapter and I hope you continue!

And good luck with the whole Cambridge app, believe me, i went through that ** last year...*shudders* my most heartfelt sympathies! haha, don't worry, you'll be fine!

That.
Was.
Awesome!

Holy Grapes! Dragon slaying! Death to dragons!
I have a new fav author, i am deeply sorry that I haven't seen how great you are for a long time!

thank you for updating

OMG Why didn'y Wuya remember anything! Soo, when's Guan coming in?

I haven't heard from you in a long time, how are you?

Um... You are going to explain how you came up with this theroy and how Wuya turns evil right? Because right now i have no idea how this could possibabaly happen.