I really, really liked this story.

You did a wondeful job portraying Ephraim and Innes. Your writing is wonderful. ^_^ Keep up the great work!

Heh, describes Innes very well. Hopefully he can learn from this.

=D I loved your story very much.

Wow, very well-written. =) I enjoyed quite a bit; I can't even offer any criticism! Awesome.

As I have promised, here is a review, old friend.

This review will use my new (CPESHO) system. For each criterion (except Heart, which gets either a positive or a negative), I will award a rank (F, E, D, C, B, A, or S), and I am not full of generosity when it comes to the high ranks. Most authors are going to fall between F (failure) and C (average). ... As strange as it might seem, this is the first time that you will be subjected to this system in all the years that you and I have worked together.

CHARACTER - A
I hate to use analogies from the 1980s, but the best way to describe the relationship between Innes and Ephraim is to look at it as being along the same lines as the rivalry between Iceman and Maverick in 'Top Gun' (sans the homoerotic overtones). By sticking to that archetype, you have captured the correct dynamic. ... I was going to say that Innes and Ephraim remind me of Jerid and Camille from good ol' 'Zeta Gundam', but Innes never actively tries to kill Ephraim. As you have said to me in the past, Innes does not get along with Ephraim, but there is no one that he would rather have at his back, either.

PLOT - B
Traditionally, I say, in my reviews, that plot is not as important as characterization in one-shots, but you have managed to pace the story in such a way that it does not have to depend too heavily on its characters in order for its plot device to work the right way. ... As I have said in conversation, this would not be the first time that Innes has faced a trick archer, either. See the Moulder-Vanessa Supports to hear a good story about that.

EMOTION - A
The best part of this piece is the fact that the readers gets to see how Innes truly feels about his position in relation to his rival, and it is sad, yet fitting, that our favorite sniper is thoroughly consumed by his confidence in his own prowess. His confidence is so great, in fact, that he cannot see anything beyond it, and that is why he is not beloved by his people, save for his sister, who has a heart that is too big for her own good.

STYLE - A
Oh, come on, you and I have had the same level of education in writing. I do not need to be lecturing you about things that you already know, though one must always beware the wandering commas and their tendency to catch us unawares.

HEART - :-)
You either have it, or you do not. I have yet to read a single piece of yours that does not have heart behind it.

OVERALL - A
This is a very good story, certainly one of the best to emerge from the first round of writing for FE8, and, for Sohei like ourselves, I doubt that we can ask anything better of our work. ... Welcome, again, to 'Fire Emblem' fandom. I hope that you enjoy your stay as I have enjoyed mine.

Wow, that was excellent! I couldn't help but feel for Innes and yet roll my eyes at the same time because of his almost single-mindedness train of thought that doesn't allow him to think about things on a broader scale, which you portrayed splendidly. I really do pity him. Well done!

Great job! I've been waiting for some fics about Ephraim and Innes, and this was fun to read. You captured the rivalry well!

Dear Moogle,

I like this, like it I do. It was very well written, and I love the way you portrayed Innes. It's so...true, and very believable.
I feel so sorry for my dear little Innes after reading this. He deserved to win that, even though in the same sense he did not deserve to be declared the victor.
*girly mind takes over* I mean, come on. Ephraim is already so much cuter than Innes! Why humiliate him even more. ^o^

Sorry 'bout that. I tend to get girly sometimes in my reviews. Which...well, it works, cause I am a girl...*slaps wrist* No! Ba self! DO NOT be strange in your reviews.

Anyways, I like this alot! It goes on my huge Favorite Stories like, lucky you. And you go on my favorite Authors like, extra lucky you. Please keep writing!

With Luck and Love,
Becca, the Dreamer of Riddles

July 18th, 2005