This fic follows your trend of unique viewpoints on Azumanga with a fresh situation that I doubt anyone else in the fandom could have pulled off.

I found myself trying to judge it on a seperate standard, thinking "This is Pete Zaitcev. It's going to be way different and challenge your thinking. This is not Azumanga as you know it." However, as I read on, I found that my disclaimer couldn't really apply. I was worried that I would end up feeling the same way that I did after One Day Over Wonsan. However, I felt that this was in the same realistic Azumanga vein as Bigger than Life.

You've managed to make a somewhat accurate depiction of what Azumanga could turn into in this case. However, I had to read it over a couple of times. The sniper sequence made me think that the sniper (I won't drop names for fear of spoilering) was going after Tomo. I had to compare the ends of the last parts to make sure that it wasn't thus. That was a bit of ambiguity that I, as a reader, think is a very good thing for authors to do. I like leaving challenges like that for my readers as well; this helps them to overcome leaps of consciousness that make writing characters work a little more realistically.

The best thing I could say constructively is to clarify the connection between the Tomo/Ken interchange and the sniper. I keep thinking that, with the Section 9 reference, Tomo somehow got cyberized and put into a prosthetic body? Or she covered for someone?

I like being left with questions to ask, but it seems to be unfinished or rushed because of the unclarity of the resolution. I think I feel a little more like I'm wondering "What happened?" than I do a sense of closure. It's a refreshing feeling, having to think my way through something, but it feels a little bit alienating at this time.

Other than that, I am impressed with your concept and execution, as well as your logical extensions of Tomo and the sniper. I feel as if you've taken the characters to be human beings, which is probably the essential logical leap in fanfic writing, or in fiction in general. You treated them realistically. This is as quality as it gets. Frankly, I don't see anything wrong with the Section 9/GitS:SAC crossover. I for one see this as a gateway to a SAC/Azumanga crossover fic. Kagura would make a perfect Batou, and Chiyo-chan just screams Tachikoma. :-)

I found this a refreshing, enjoyable story. Your works are consistent and strong. You're probably the best thing that's happened to the Azumanga category since its inception. I can only hope to see more of your works here!

Frightening, with exquisite ambiance. Especially liked Tomo's demi-conversion to a burnt out cop, and very glad you resisted the urge to explicity name the sniper. And the acknowledgement that, no matter how close they are, high-school friends almost never stick together.

Not certain if I like Tomo's Monologue of Doom. Sounds too narrative, not conversational Tomo. I think it's the word "dilligently." The rest of it sounds like it could come from an aged, grizzled, cigarette-smoking Tomo, but not this line (unless accompanied by a sarcastic smile). Sounds too rehearsed; I'd expect something more casual, like, "Couple years street, then onto drugs and investigations. There was an opening in the 2nd Task Group, so I took it."

Maybe if it was less of a monologue? A reflective pause here or there? Right now, it feels like she's told this story a thousand times (which she may have, to herself) and lets it roll off the tongue in one big monologue.

I'm not a huge fan of the "quest" thing, but I suppose it fits with this vision of Tomo: mature, tinged with the grey cynicism that comes with police life, but still a goof at heart.

The Canadian passport gag fits wonderfully, since all terrorists do fly Air Canada. It's true! Check the news archives for that incident with the terrorists with Canadian passports! And it explains the bitchy staff.

Strong characterization in your story. But why taint it with a suplurferous Section 9/Major Kusanagi reference at the end? And Nermia? Works fine in that comedic "Takino's Six" fict, but a bit jarring in this one.

It's slightly sad/creepy that Tomo has no idea her best friend is dead, but maybe you could ramp it up a bit? A niggling doubt, maybe? Or perhaps the Chief can put two and two together? Some ironic thing to bounce off the Takino triumphalism.

I do enjoy your tales, sir. They're diamonds: small and dense, sparkling, and having a tendency to slice your heart open when you least expect it.

Wow, very deep. Poor Tomo and Yomi, but we don't really know who Black Lightining really is do we?! Good work on the fic, it must be hard making a dark fic for azumanga, noh?

Dad... omae...

It's just so... I have no words. The writing's decent, but it doesn't flow very well in some areas. A few particles are missing, and you wrote "Solder of Fortune." What happened to the 'i' in soldier?

Milestone... is that the right word? I was under the inmpression that a milestone was something used to measure distances. Like "reaching a milestone in the project." Maybe "deadweight" would be better.

Anyway, this is definitely not my thing. But then, some people like this. Your choice.

I loved it. I've read it 3 times in the last 2 hours. Is this to be multi-chaptered or just a one shot? Well, as mentioned, it's very to the book. I actually like that since there are so many stories without basic grammar these days. Character deaths are interesting in the least anyway.

Giving Tomo a boyfriend gave a welcome break the the huge amount of shoujo-ai written about. Though I don't hate it, the fact is that the majority of women are straight, so to make everybody lesbian is far fetched and rather mundane now. You may be the first to actually pair the main character of an Azumanga Daioh fanfic with a male. Congratulations! I look forward to more of your writing. Yes, pairing Tomo with a man is a definite bonus...not that I'm being homophobic or anything. Like I said earlier, shoujo-ai is mundane in writing now.

Good luck to you.

you now...this isn´t really even sad...like other death-fics...it´s just depressing..., there is one aspect of sadness in it...and that´s that Tomo won´t find Yomi again...It might have great grammar and easy to following paragraphing...but...I think this is the first fic I´ve read that I...disliked...but that is my personal feeling about it...by the book it´s probably a good fic...

No, I´m sorry...I didn´t like it...there you have it...