I have to say that this story is unlike anything ive ever read here. It takes the concept from a game that while undeniably awesome beyond belief, is also very inconsistent with reality ( not counting the aliens of course), and has managed to mesh it into real world dynamics so well that Tom Clancy couldn't have done it better. Your knowledge of many aspects of world government and military (and other) technology is put to brilliant and believable use. I always try and tolerate stories that put little effort into explaining their technology (whether real or completely fictional) but its always a pleasure to read someone who knows exactly what there talking about, or at least takes the time to do research. I must say that i found the earlier chapters much more difficult to stomach, as you were obviously struggling to put together the story, and also with the language. However, i could tell that there were the makings of a truly great story, and now i have no doubt that its going to be an addictive ride till the end. Great job!

I like your writing style, but i thought you should know that the nautical measure of speed is simply knots (being nautical-miles per hour) rather than knots per hour. just a little tidbit to smooth out some descriptions.

Excellent story, i love them all.

This is going to sound werid but is the fith column inspired by a name to the mini TV series called 'V' where aliens maipulate the humans and a rebel faction within the aliens were called the 'Fifth Column'?

Anyway a fine chapter, admittingly it gets a bit confusing perhpas for its own good. I think given how much the NSI gets critcsed (and that even the simpsons movie mocked them) that you give them more credit then it deserves.

I am unsure if Illyuschenko could actually threaten to charge the scientist for manslaughter in relation to the hold up with the lack of body armour devlopment and weaponary. I was reading an article about british troops (I'm british) not reciving the right equipment and that in turn (I can't remember the details well) one of the widows or perhaps the army itself had charged or wanted to charage someone for being unable to bring the proper equipment to the lines and therefore should be charged with manslaughter. That sounds extreme but I felt it wouldn't be beyond Illyuschenko's character to impose a more 'direct' approach.

I like the continuity based after the LA attack and coming from a political and militry prespective you make it very tense.

HOPEFULLY I can read and review these chapters more frequently because at this rate my updates will take me to 2010!

best xcom fanfiction i read
thanks

I think this may have been your most difficult chapter in simply laying out the scenario and the consequences. Other then the news reporter questioning a man who claimed it was aliens (The likleness of CNN picking a UFO witness looks unprofessional at least by CNN standards) and instead should had focused on why are ths hospitals struggling to treat the unkown injuries inflcited on civillians or other matters that raise the bar of intense questioning to the goverment because journalisim for it's complexity has to raise three important questions. Who? Why? and How?.

After all hospitals aren't familir with plasma burns by alien gunfire and if it's by terroists then expect heads of goverment officals to roll. (also it is ironic that months later when this chapter was published, the events of 9/11 took place and like events inthis chapter was declared the worst atrosity on U.S soil where thousands died and a islamic group was blamed.)

This is why to me it's such a dfficult chapter because of the way it conflicts with reality, it would had been picked on by the media, civillians with cameras, CCTV footage etc. However you dealt with the secario convinceingly from how the troops make their way to the city and seeing effective teamwork (no lone would be heroes) tackling the aliens. You make good use of communiations which was vital given the urban terrain and yes LA is pretty much a gang drug run city unfortunely. I would had liked president Winston to be grilled by the media r polticians into the handling of this. It seemed that despite being a the state leader his involvment in this was limited at times.

Intresting how you brought in the laser weaponary, you cleverly avoided creating the scfi-gabble to how it may work and ties itself with this 'third party'

Overall a great read, I didn't think CNN picking the 'crazy man' was the best way forward to throw a daggered accusation at the goverment of a coverup but what the hell, 10 out of 10!

Regarding modern usage of hand to hand weapons, looks like some US troops in Iraq are using tomahawks:

http://abcnews.

Point agreed on the small light issue. About the door, my intention was that it was their first encounter with those doors and the trooper who opens it merely tried without expecting for the door to actually open. Probably i should make that point more clear.
About the katanas...well cross over from all the Battletech novels I was writing at the time I think. Still it was something I never bothered to pick up again later on the story.

Suspense, action and detail are all here, I like how you produced the 'tip-toe' tactic for Xcom, howver two things i have to state.

When someone says there's a small light in the sky, 'like a moon' is not i would consider to be small, more noticeable. The second is how Johnson's team opened the door of the ufo seemed somewhat amutarish. It is their first encounter with the aliens but I'm sure the guy who opened the door could had done it without leaving himself to immedite exposure.

Other then that everything seemed militry accurate though I'm not sure that the japanese soliders still carry katana's or would it even be allowed in a strict militry organastion like Xcom?

8 out of 10.

This is second time I've read your story and I must say that it is well written. You got the politics and military spot on. WELL DONE!
Lots of Luck, PawPaw

I'm very surprised you made no mention of the SAS, their a very elite orgnastion in the world of special forces or of Isreal's (If you think about it they would have specially trained forces in counter terroisim, even if the target has now changed to aliens)

Still it's a good chapter, a tad confusing on what's going on and where though this is due to length. Certinely Illyuschenko is a well drawn out character and is borderline intimidating when giving out authority. The poltical bickering still continues, reminding the reader that characters like Illyuschenko will be affected by matters back home.

Though on a geography level, I think it would had been better if you had one colonel covering central asia and another covering SE Asia (given Austrailia does fall under that category)

9 out of 10

The story was good, very strong points and concentrates a lot on the politics, though I did shift my eyes in a tad annoyance as yet again the French are depicted as the ever whingeing whining ones.

There are talks about grammar faults from some of the reviewers here made in the past, this I feel is unfair as from what I can tell their pretty unnoticeable and nobody is perfect.

I think there should be a civilian POV to this, though this is 1998 bear in mind that even back then world leaders were stalked by the media, so I would have liked to had seen more of a government-media relations where the leaders talk of their reasons for where they claim to be going etc and a small insight into public concerns current social matters.

The Aurora event I feel was perhaps not needed, at the very most it would seem foolhardy even by the U.S to unleash one of their best crafts against the aliens only for it to be destroyed. Granted we need to see the technological gap between the two but why waste a bullet when your know it's going to miss in the end? After 50yrs of UFO's I think the U.S of all would know better.

Overall 8 out of 10.

I always recognised Xcom fanfics as perhaps one of few fictional categories where writing is taken more seriously given the strong fanbase Xcom has. When I write, I write with a desire to be the best, yet while reading this I know I got much to do if I'm to stand a chance of matching this standard of solid writing.

One very strong point of this chapter is your accuracy of not just history but the current moods and typical suspicions of that era, in this case the cold war.

The ending is a brilliant climax, a blend of action and dread of what may lie ahead.

It'll take for me to read each chapter over time but if a story is constructive then it deserves an equally constructive review. So I will be reading on.

This is just to inform everyone that there is now a forum to discuss both the Unknown Menace and Abyssal. It can be accessed throug this link:

After having finished the first quarter, it´s time for a preliminary review.
To say this story is great is an understatement, it´s absolutely fantastic. Your background info is very detailed (regarding politics, equipment, all that stuff) which gives the story an immense density. I just can´t stop reading, you´re going at an impressive pace.
There is just one issue, and that´s grammar. All the spelling errors and grammar mistakes, from shifting tenses to punctuation, make it sometimes real hard to understand what you´re trying to say. I´d suggest you find a native English speaker to proof-read your story and load up an edited version. A fantastic story such as this would definitely deserve the trouble.