wow... that's impressive. thought it would have been better with more gore and blood. and if you can, let your readers submit their own OCs to make this cooler. see you next time...

...You have a few noticeable grammatical errors...stick to one tense per paragraph. You're story is good though. I haven't heard any other versions for this part of the story...so this makes your version the best? :D

The maturity rating is just.

I like OCs-they add flexability.

That was an awesome opening fight scene It reminded me of the Movie Kingdom of Heaven. Epics are Kick-arse and hard to find. I hope to see more. ;)