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| LutraShinobi 2007-10-10 ch 3,  | abuseThis was an awesome story - it was like behind-the-scenes Don. Not the confident, tough FBI agent, but the insecure, struggling older brother who doesn't really know anything except that he'll never know. The language was simple, but the combined effect was very deep, creating a style that brings out the best, the worst and the truest of a character. I especially liked this part: "And Don doesn’t have the words to tell his brother that not understanding is a way of life and that miscomprehension is constant, not an immeasurable variable. He doesn’t have the figures that sum to a perfect answer or even one that comes close." I liked the way you used numbers to describe Don's confusion and I enjoyed this bit of philosophy. The whole thing was sort of melancholy, sort of happy, sort of introspective, sort of real - so many sort of's, all meaning so much more than a concrete fact. This was really good, is what I'm trying to tell you. And never say there are no more words - with authors like you, there always will be. :) |
| themidnightstar 2005-09-26 ch 3, | abuseGreat story! Wonderful insight and so much of it was done in small details that revealed so much. Like the flashback in chapter 2, when Don made his own dinner and put himself to bed after all the drama surrounding Charlie’s disappearance. It was a great example of Don’s independence from an early age and what forced him to develop it. |
| Kippling Croft 2005-09-25 ch 3, | abuseGreat story very well written. |
| CeriseReve 2005-09-25 ch 3, | abuseOh, I really enjoyed reading this! I liked how you wove little snippets of Don’s thoughts and actions into a coherent picture of his life. It was simple, clear, and very effective. I loved the Pandora’s Box simile in the first chapter because it conjured such a great image in my mind. The ending was a very touching way for Don to come (in a small way) to an understanding of who Charlie is. Thank you. |
| D. Lerious 2005-09-25 ch 3, | abusegreat chappy! very deep insight into Don |
| Aranel Abeille 2005-09-25 ch 3, anon. | abusewow. just... wow. You are amazing, and for some reason the time-jumps remind me of The Sound and the Fury. It flows so well, and you really captured Don. Good job. |
| Mt.Suz 2005-09-25 ch 3, | abuseWow. That was wonderful. I really loved it. Very insightful and unusal way to write. Thank you for finishing. I smiled this morning when I saw your post and I smiled again when I finished it. |
| Ann 2005-09-24 ch 3, anon. | abuseI don't know. Guess I'm always puzzled by these stories that suggest that it's Don's job to understand and be there for Charlie and never vice versa. Doesn't sound like much of a brotherhood to me. |
| Kippling Croft 2005-07-29 ch 2, | abuseGreat chapter please update soon. |
| Patty 2005-07-29 ch 2, anon. | abuseGood story and I certainly like your writing style. It's different and very effective. Looking forward to Chapter 3! |
| themidnightstar 2005-07-28 ch 2, | abuseWow! Interesting and insightful. |
| trillium33 2005-07-28 ch 2, | abuseI'm really enjoying this! And I don't think you're unkind to Charlie at all. |
| D. Lerious 2005-07-28 ch 2, | abuseAwesome work! I love how you bring out the issues Don had:) |
| Stephanie519 2005-07-23 ch 1, | abuseAw! I really like this story. You're a great writer! **smiles** Stephie |
| Makai-Rahl 2005-07-11 ch 1, | abusehey this one is really good, I like it alot, and update soon! |