Very cool.

Hey. You really do have a beautiful idea here. Angst and emotion almost comes right alive in it. Bear in mind not to make the assumption that the reader already knows or understands your character. :)

There's a concise writing style, and you make good use of what could have been a confusing narrative.

Keep writing always,
GreenCookie.

You have some interesting ideas here - keep going.
Happy writing :)

i like your thoughts but have you wounder any more on how he died here is what i think. the headmaster saw that snape could do nothing, what with those 6 deatheaters and all, so the headmaster said,"snape..." so he could get snape's attention, then, with his mind the headmaster told where harry was and to make sure he was safe. then he said that he could tell he was dying and that there was no use to try and save him. he told him to keep doing his spying and to kill him. snap was denying what the headmaster just said in his mind but whan the headmaster said"...please" snape knew that they're was no other choice and killed him then hurried the rest of the deatheaters out to make sure that they didn't find harry and the rest is in the book.

Crummy story. But too bad about Dumbledore being killed by Snape in book six huh? Could you beleive that Snape is the half-blood prince, because of his mothers maiden name being prince and all. Nice to see that Harry was going out with Ginny, too bad they broke up. I sure hope I don't spoil the book for anyone who hasn't read it yet.

Crummy story. But too bad about Dumbledore being killed by Snape in book six huh? Could you beleive that Snape is the half-blood prince, because of his mothers maiden name being prince and all. Nice to see that Harry was going out with Ginny, too bad they broke up. I sure hope I don't spoil the book for anyone who hasn't read it yet.

don't really understand this but I liked it anyway... shame you're not continueing it. Good job!