Okay, there is both good and bad here.

Firstly, it is a good story with a good idea behind the plot and a promising start; however, the chapters are very, very short and even put together would still be on the short side.

I know it can be difficult to write a whole decent sized chapter at once, but that doesn't mean just post what you've got as soon as you've written it. Keep it on file and put the bits together until they make something about, say, two or three pages in length. It doesn't matter if they're a bit longer or a bit shorter, but when you are reading something online and you have to load up a new screen every half page or so, things can get a little disjointed.

You could do with a little more descriptive narrative as well: you're not writing a script after all. Plus you should maybe run this through a spell-checker too.

In all, the story is good, but your writing technique needs a little more practice, that's all.

Could you please update died here pretty please?

i too am an avid Veritas fan...keep going

Please write more. I am a huge Veritas Fan.

I lovely so far, please update soon

Very interesting and a good beginning. Please continue, I love Veritas.

are you adding more?...am big fan of Veritas.

Just wanted to let you know that this is cool and well written. I love Vincent, and was heart broken when they cancled this show. Thanks for something great to read.

i love this show too...great to see knew stories. thanks