look i know that killing malfloy might have seen like a demand and even though i dont completly agree i think it was nesscary but i think that the part in where harry believes he like the feeling of the first kill was unnesscary since harry felt dirty 2 seconds before and he would never enjoy that feeling of killing malfloy even if it was the set him free he im sure would even feel a bit guilty
I just finished this story and have to say that I liked it up until the end where we find out that no one else survived the fight. :( However, I am extremely surprised that this was started when you were 13! If I could have written half this well at that age I would have considered that a huge accomplishment. The subjects you covered in the story were approached in a fairly believable manner with really not much in the way of extraneous information. All information kept the story moving. As ithe mother of a 13 year old, I understand what a feat this was, and am proud of what you accomplished with this story and the quality of writing. I hope you've kept it up in the intervening years.
You are being much too hard on yourself. This is not painful to read. If it was, I wouldn't have made it past the first few chapters. As it is, it is well written, in spite of the difficulties you report you have had with motivation on these last few chapters. That is just a sign of how gifted a writer you must be. I have to be in the "zone" to write anything at all (which doesn't happen very often).
I loved this chapter! Just the right amount of drama was included.
P.S I love drama
Rebecca 5/20/10 . chapter 53
I just finished reading your story. It was amazing! I can't believe you started writing so young because it reads like an older writer. I loved the final battle and how people had realistic injuries... Did everyone else have to die or become disabled?
Um, apparently I wasn't logged in when I left my review. Sorry about that.
So that last review (#3,245 and signed by Lauren) was left my me.
Just wanted you to know! It wasn't intentionally anonymous.
Once again, brilliant story. Truly wonderful!
Lauren
anon 3/22/10 . chapter 53
Um, ok here goes:
It has been 3 years since you wrote this, I understand that. But I'm assuming that you'll still get this email...
I just spent every ounce of my spare time for the last 3 days reading this story. There is so much that I have to say about it but I'm not sure I can find a way to articulate everything. I'll try though.
You are INCREDIBLE. Truly a brilliant writer, and I hope you understand that. I was way beyond emotionally involved in this story. I cried... multiple times. And all through chapters 49 and 50 I felt truly nauseous because I was so involved and it was a horrible experience but at the same time I loved it because the story was just so damn fantastic.
I am in awe of what you created with this. I mean the all of the different horcrux and battle scenarios, the relationships, the ridiculous depth you gave every character- it was fucking brilliant. Really, I was amazing at how complicated and deep and twisted this story was. Harry was so beyond fucked up in so many ways but it was all believable and left me wondering how JKR's Harry ISN'T so incredibly screwed up. Not just Harry, but Ginny, Ron, and Hermione, too. You explored their characters in a deep and addicting way and it was wonderful. I felt for each of them.
I never knew what to expect with story. I wouldn't have put it past you to kill Harry off. I truly thought you were going to at least 3 times. My nausea from chapter 49 was because I thought Harry and Ginny had reached a place in their horribly twisted and unfair relationship that they were incapable of loving each other. Usually when reading a fanfic I know that the author wouldn't do that... but I was truly afraid that you created a Harry and Ginny who couldn't love, and I wasn't even mad at you for it. I wasn't mad because I'm still amazed that your Harry has enough good left in him to love and that your Ginny survived their crap situation with an intact heart. But on the other hand of course they can still love each other, because hasn't that been JKR's point all along?
I love how you explored the character's boundaries. How far were they willing to go? I find your characters much more realistic than JKR's in this sense. I loved your Harry all the more every time he killed, as disgusting as that might sound. He was real and intense and for once not inexplicably noble. He did what he had to do. Yes, I do believe that Harry would have enough hate, anger, and resentment to kill. I'm glad that he killed. I think he needed to. It makes complete sense to me that Harry would have that monster living inside of him, and that even after the final battle it would still come out when it was just Ginny and him. I don't see how someone with a life as completely fucked up as Harry couldn't have that inside of them. The important thing is that Harry doesn't let it consume him, and I don't believe he will let it. I was also happy to see how messed up Harry was after he killed. It wouldn't seem right if it didn't affect him profoundly like that.
Of course, this wasn't just about Harry. You explored Ron and Hermione the same way. It was refreshing reading a story that viewed the war in such a real, raw sense. Of course they would be forced to lose their innocence and make decisions like whether or not they would become a murderer. I completely subscribe to your version of Ron who was capable of murder, because someone with a temper as hot as his and such a fierce sense of loyalty, he was always going to do whatever it takes. Your Hermione surprised me just a little bit, but I throughly enjoyed her. Seeing her use an Unforgivable was shocking, but completely fitting in the world and characters you created. I mean, you're one of the first (that I've read, granted) to actually address the complete loss of innocence that the Golden Trio had to experience in the war. I mean, you didn't pretend that when they weren't battling they were just happy teenagers. You actually addressed the fact that they had to get their hands dirty and do disgusting deeds, but you still maintained the human and kind heart (although a considerably harder heart) in all of them. I just really admire you for addressing the heavy things like that.
After reading those last few chapters, I almost forgot that there was some fluff in this. That was fabulous. Harry and Ginny, well they were awkward and hilarious and really just horny teenagers in love and it was awesome. Of course, everyone has a soft spot for Ron and Hermione. I think you did a brilliant job dealing with both relationships.
I'm going to go back to Harry one more time. I LOVE that you made him powerful and more like a leader. I LOVE powerful Harry, and I've never been able to understand why JKR's Harry didn't take charge more in the books. I get that he's modest and didn't ask for this or whatever, but the fact is that he accomplished incredible feats and then the only emotion he really expresses in the books is guilt for all the bad things he can't control. I love that your Harry stood up and led because Harry has always been a leader, it's just who he is. My favorite instances of Harry in the books were when he took charge in the DA meetings because that is who I always thought he should be all the time, and you brought out more of that side of him. The wandless magic was wonderful. I told you that I love powerful Harry. Of course he can do amazing things like that, he's HARRY FUCKING POTTER! I actually get really excited when authors give Harry powers like that which I think he deserves.
Ok... it's 1:30 am now. This is a horribly long review and it still doesn't even begin to cover everything that was wonderful and amazing about this story. I laughed (some parts were truly hilarious), I cried, and I loved it.
Good story. Sure, there were plenty of cliches, and it wasn't the most well-written (and you sure as hell loved to use recent flashbacks... which I'm leaving as my only real critique. DON'T DO IT SO MUCH!), but you only being 13 when you started makes a world of difference.
You've got talent. Good work.
Yilvina 7/18/09 . chapter 53
Hey, I really don't know what to write in to this, I've never done it before. However I'd only like to tell you that you've done a great job with the story. I don't even remember all the details and I'm not going to bash you for anything, sure there may have been some moments where I personally would've wanted it to end differently, but I have to say you've done a hell of a good job writing this. You mabe won't read this as it's a few years since you ended your story by now, but I still thought I'd thank you for the good story, I enjoyed very much, it had me hooked very quickly, I liked the way you brought romance in, even though dark times were on. So hopefully you've written something more, something else, and all the best wishes to you
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