Nice Area 88 one shot I hope to read the complete manga sometime myself as it obviously tells a more complete story.

MJP pretty much sums up my feelings. But I think that you've got a lot of talent, so just work harder to come up with concepts before you write. Good luck!

Very minor quibble. Some words are gendered. Blond is male,blonde is female. Tiny point, but distracting to those of us who are hooked on language. Gomen.

yo son i'm thinkin i's gunna b a gud story and here u go writing sumthing dumb well keep trying mayb u'll get better

Hmm... My guess is you've just recently began to watch this show am I right?

I'm probably one of the few who managed to obtain the original manga series in our country. (Back when it was still a bi-monthly series by Viz Comics- yep I'm THAT old.)

Well I've already finished the new series and compared to the original series, the more recent one has more of a realistic feel and a more hopeful ending than the first (though I kinda liked the idea of Shin flying a Kfir).

It's not that I don't like your story but- well your story borrows too much from Chapter 3 of the manga "The Boundless Desert" (the part where he gets shot down in the desert, I think it's episode 2 or 3 in the new series). You just changed the setting a bit.

Now if you made this as a prolouge of a series, then this would be forgivable. But I don't blame you though- for your first I'd give you a 7 out of 10 rating for your efforts.

Well that's all for now...

This has been Xenostriker's Monthly Report,

Xenostriker signing off...

This really didn't do anything new for the character, the series, the setting, etc. It basically seems like a parroting of the original.

I hate to say this, but this isn't really even a story. There's no real polite way to put it. It's dangerously close to basically plagiarizing the show. I would really suggest you work harder on a concept before you write in the future.

Anyone who has seen Area 88 knows about Shin, his situation, his feelings, etc. The best suggestion I could give is to use that as a springboard for future writing.

Finally you got what you wanted! Brilliant work to start off the Area 88 section.

Ominae, man... well, I was sorta expecting a dogfight, but anyway, this is good too. Although I think Shin wouldn't give in to displays of emotion, but then, that's just my opinion.

PS: Seen your work in the Martin Mystery and Tom Clancy sections, too. :)