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| invictus regla 2006-07-03 ch 1,  | abuseI really liked this story cause it had a very deep meaning, which is probably why most others don't bother reading it. I thought it was quite interesting, considering that it was centered around someone like Sloane. Good job! |
| Acetoorion 2005-07-28 ch 1, | abuseWell, I liked it. It was dark and you got right inside Sloanes head. Loved the line about Sydney being the only daughter he ever wanted, that's something that would be interesting to explore furthur. Writing wise, you turn of phrase was good and improved as you went along, although I would suggest some editing of the beginning. A lot of writers often take a few paragraphs to get on form, I know I do. Grammar was also good but there were a few comma errors. Hope you don't mind my criticism, but you seemed to want some so I thought I'd oblige. I like psychological vingettes, they're always moving (as long as they're well written, which yours is). I think I'm in the process of reading something else you're working on at the moment, I recognised the pen name. Anyway, here's your one review, the only reason people probably didn't read it before is becuase it isn't centered around Sydney and is quite deep, which is probably too much effort for a lot of people to read. Shame, but that's the way things go, I've had the same problem with some of my stuff! Good luck with the rest of your work. |