Hey! I've read your first chapter and I think you put 2 of the same paragraphs... other than that *thumbs up* I've luvin' it... D

I have the feeling this is going to be a Xiaoyin.

Not that I mind, of course, but I'd much rather have it be a Jin/Julia than a Xiaoyin. But logic tells me that since it's in Xiaoyu's point of view, it'll end up in Xiao's favor.

You don't have many mistakes, but it's the paragraphs that get me a bit dizzy. If you want, you could send me your next chapter for editing. My e-mail: *remove the spaces* c j _ a n g e l @ y a h o o . c o m

Keep writing, for your first fic it's a great start. _