Seems like something that coud have happened...I like it.

that was so good, I loved it!

I wanted to give this piece a true review, so here it is:

Things start out okay, but word after word, you lose tension both in plot and characters. Tension does not have to be action, as in blowing things up or sprawling fight scenes. However, in order to maintain tension, or even interest, you must make the readers care about the characters. The only thing that endears this story to those that enjoy it is the Padme and Anakin characters as the readers already knew them, as George Lucas wrote them. Your writing does not make these characters identifiable to the reader. In other words, if these characters were your original work, they would be flat and boring to read.

Anyway, it is a nice bit of writing from an editor’s position, with no mistakes, and a nice, however slow, flow of words. I wanted to give you’re a serious review since you seem to pride yourself on giving others the exact same thing. It’s good to have people who can be objectionable in their reviews, and state things that the writer can improve on. For you: While you lack the grammar/spelling mistakes that are so common on this site, stronger characters as well as compelling (not necessarily action-packed) plots and believable dialogue would greatly improve your work.

I know that the ability to write strong characters, good plots and especially good dialogue is based a great deal on talent. However, I am strong believer that such writing techniques can be learned to some degree. I’m sure that with practice you will become a better and more skilled writer.

Good Luck with your writings.

Sincerely,
Lisa

Ooh I enjoyed that alot. I disagree with dudewhowrites07 because this piece kept me interested throughout the whole thing. I really like how you brought the name Leia into the picture. Good work. :)

Aw, I thought it was really sweet! ^.^

dude...that took way to long. they didn't even decide a name that they would consider! it seemed kinda pointless to me, ust like the kissing. i know that they're husband and wife, but do you really think that, that's necessary?...for all u other reviewers and writers, I'm not this harsh very often. try writing something that doesn't have me thinking of other things while reading. HOLD MY ATTENTION NEXT TIME!! =)

Aww! Very good, very sweet. And you would be amazed at the extent to which you did not break with the novel at all. Great job.

This is a really beautiful piece of writing. I love it.

Lovely. It's nice to see the more normal moments between these two, because we see so little of it in the films. The last sentence has a strong impact- drags you back to the SWverse reality and pretty much kills the fairytale they've built for themselves. This is really great work you've done.

i loved it

very, very, very nice and sweet!
I loved it!

oh, and Happy Birthday!

Oh, I loved this. The sweet married peolpe banter, so perfect. I liked the idea that Ani came up with Leia's name. It fits with the idea that he thought they were having a girl and adds so much meaning to Padme's last part where she still names Leia with Ani's name choice after all that has happened. That really fit's with eho Padme is.