Dear God! I commented... favorably on this fic all the way back in May of '04. What was I on? While I generally like the ideas presented, the execution leaves a LOT to be desired.

True, I'm not one to talk, as I've been recently been looking through my own works and finding them lacking in a lot of ways. Still, I have to go on record and say that this is no where near good. Not the worst, but there is so much that could have been done better with this fic.

For starters, the completely unnecessary Wish/Chaos backstory stuff in 'chapter 6' (which is under chapter 5, listed as chapter 7... what the hell?). It does absolutely nothing to further the story, nothing. I know it wasn't that old hat back in '01, but still. Why do folks always have to do the 'he/she was a chaos generator' bit so often with Ranma. Seriously, why can't we just leave it at folks wanting so much from one guy/girl? Is it that hard. Chaos happens when folks want only their way and aren't willing to compromise. Think about it, all the times that the girls worked together, like against Ms. Ninomiya. When someone new comes into play, the girls work together. True, there is still a level of 'chaos'; but it's lessened from the girls end (mostly). Chaos doesn't have to be the cause, and rarely is really. It's the effect. The cause is the selfishness of the cast at large; and most of the cast of Ranma are greatly lacking in the maturity to swallow pride, sit down and talk things out. (of course there wouldn't be much of a series if they were. Remember, while the series was described as a martial arts romance comedy, the emphasis was always on the comedy. Mostly a comedy of errors.)

By the way, mentioning chapters: these are little more then scenes, save for the first chapter. Seriously, everything that happens, as currently told, could have been all put into one chapter. Of course you could have ( and really should have) expounded on the various scenes, giving them more life and sense of place and time.

There is no life in this, not much in the telling, and way too much that just so happens to fall into place. But then, I do have to step back and be somewhat forgiving as this was still in the early era of Ranma fics (well, more or less).

My biggest complaint really was that there was no finess to the telling. The story is just... There.

I would go into more detail (and maybe someday, if I'm feeling nice/mean/sadistic I will), but between the fact that I've got more important things to do and better fics to read, as well the age that this fic is, I'll leave it right there.

Not the absolute worst fic I've read, but to think that I once praised it so highly... yeah.

Was really enjoying the story, sad to see that you have not updated or written anything else in years either. Hope you come back to continue it in the future. Thanks for what you have given us, it was a fun read.

sad, another good story down the drain

short, but nicely done

I've never heard it that way before

hm... 'that' seems like a VERY good thing to say right at that moment *dripping sarcasm*

interesting, I don't think Ryoga would do that (if for nothing else, the fact that Ranma wouldn't use it on him if he didn't use it on Ranma), but since it's an au, whatever

Nice

Great chapter and story so fair pleaces continue the story soon.

If you are wondering what to do next then all the NWC madness needs to be dealt with. I suggest Sailor Saturn give Nerima a nice SILENCE GLAIVE SURPRISE. You might want to get Tofu and Kasumi out first but trash the rest of it. Our favorite amazon village could use a DEATH REBORN REVOLUTION, on second thought just blast the entire valley.

I think this is a first, I have read fics that have Ranma as Setsuna's husband and son but not her sister. Give yourself a Silver Millenium Star for originality.

"The Gian Twinkie refence comes from the belief a friend of my mine

has that twinkies are the highest form of life on earth and one day the

Giant Twinkie shall revel it self to punish the fools who have consumed

it's breathren"

Does your friend happen to reside in an insasne assylem?

This is a great story i know it has been a while but it would be great if you could write more of it.

I'm not sure you're still working on this story, but here goes, I like stories that deal out justice and maybe retribution to the Nerima idiots. Setsuna can do some before she meets Ranko a second time. Then all the Senshi could visit with Ranko later and despense some lovely justice to the Tendo's, Kuno's, amazon's, the list goes on. This is a good story, I don't think there are any others that have Ranma as Setsuna's sister.

It was a very good read which could explain alot things within the Ranma and Sailormoon universe, I do wish that you continued the story and that you actually showed Setsuna and Ranma meeting knowing they were related.