Reviews for The Joys of a Real Relationship

Reviews For: The Joys of a Real Relationship - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

The Cheeky Brat 2008-01-20 ch 1,	abusewell that was good
Y-dO-u-CrY 2007-11-21 ch 1,	abuseThis was so HOTT and so SWEET. i loved it. ^_^
Rika100 2007-11-20 ch 1,	abuseThis is great! I love it!
Shadow-Ravin 2007-09-13 ch 1,	abuseAw... So sweet... sniffle
mspadfoot2 2007-06-20 ch 1,	abuseThat was amazing, you are an artist! Great story. My OTP is still Drarry, but I now love Harry/Lucius as well. Thank you for conforming me!
123claire123 2007-05-15 ch 1,	abusebrilliant
blackrosewithreddewdrops 2007-03-23 ch 1,	abuseno i love thesde sex stories don't stop there
cassiope87 2007-02-17 ch 1,	abuseOk, I haven't even read the first chapter through but I can already point out that you are slightly repetitive. I give examples of certain points where I think you could leave things out (either because you have, in a way, already said it before or because it is unimportant information that should prove itself to be true in actual events). - * means repetition of a word (when they're in close contact to each other) or information CAPITAL LETTERS indicate something to consider revising // ... // to suggest a possible correction > marks material that is unnecessary (consider showing it in you characters behaviour instead of stating it outright) (( ... )) to indicate an idea or turn of phrase that I find especially praise-worthy :) - Excerpt 1) In the middle of a crowded hallway Draco Malfoy hailed Harry Potter down; with whom he’d had a tentative friendship since he and his father had joined the Order of the Phoenix. Draco ALSO //as well as whom? Sorry, but that's how it sounds - I'd leave the 'also' out or alter the sentence// loved publicity so ((he acted as a buffer for Harry)), whom since he had defeated Voldemort //seems to undermine Harry's efforts - we already know that the Order was on his side//, had been ((swarmed by both press and fans alike)). They were about to graduate and Harry had so many fans he’d even opted to ((forgo the ceremony in a few days time)). He was lost in his thoughts of the future, OF //in which// which he wanted nothing more than to find solitude as Draco hailed him. “Harry, I haven’t seen you all week. I’ve wanted to ask you something.” //There's something I've wanted to ask.// Well this had Harry’s interest. What question might Draco //want to// ask that IT //no 'it'// could wait a week? The younger students as they tried to talk, jostled them. Draco looked excited and flush//ed//. Harry wondered what Draco was so keen about. “So ask.” Harry was not one to mince words. Draco didn’t seem offended however. He seemed filled with a childlike excitement about something that Harry found curious. “I wondered if you would like to spend the summer at Malfoy Manor. I’ve checked with Father and he thinks it would give you an opportunity to get away from it all.” Malfoy Manor was well known as one of the most protected homes in the United Kingdom. To be invited there was like being ((invited to tea with the Royal Family)). This was an invitation for the entire summer. ((Harry’s current plan for the summer was to backpack across Europe to find the most hidden area he could to build a home)). Deep down Harry knew he was also getting away from Draco’s father Lucius Malfoy of whom he had developed an infatuation of since they worked together in the Order. Perhaps this was fates way of saying give it a go. ((If nothing else he could get away from the press and pour over maps for the perfect location. He hadn’t been to keen on the whole camping bit anyway :)). With amusement, he came out of his thoughts to see Draco was fidgeting with excitement waiting for an answer. Harry had noticed since they became friends that Draco’s personality was divided between being a spoiled child and trying to be like his Father. But Draco sorely needed experience, patience and seasoning that only years could provide - as they had for Lucius. “Will your mother be there?” Harry was keenly aware that Narcissa had not approved of Lucius taking both himself and Draco into the Order. ((It had caused a rift between them, which only added to the canyon already between the couple (nice word play)). Draco having been raised to appreciate decorum in ANY MATTER//all matters//; had only let it slip to his close friends that his parents were considering a divorce. As much as Harry admired Lucius he did not wish to have his name //whose name? Harry's?// further tossed about in a divorce case. “No. //and?//Father asked me to give you this.” Taking the note, Harry took in the high quality paper, the wax seal and superb penmanship that were trademarks of the elder Malfoy. If Harry had been alone this would have been a moment to savor. However, Draco’s patience seemed to be ebbing away much like the students IN //from// the hall whom were headed to the Great Hall for lunch. Harry opened the letter with due reverence. Dear Harry, Please accept my sincere apologies that this is not being sent to you properly. It was only yesterday when Draco came to visit that this idea was thrust upon me. However, I believe it would be in your best interest to find some solitude away from the press, if only for a time. Therefore, I extend to you the invitation to stay with Draco and I at the Manor over this summer. However, if you have made previous plans we will understand since you were clearly not given proper notice. I do hope you will consider our invitation. Lucius Malfoy. Harry was still looking at the invitation when he said what Draco had been hoping to hear, “I accept.” If he had been looking up he would have seen not only excitement but also the signs of infatuation in Draco’s eyes before he was able to put the smirk in place. Harry turned to go and heard Draco call out over his shoulder. “Father will meet us after graduation.” Harry ((raised a hand in acknowledgement)) //this indicates that Harry is not a man of many words :) // then headed to the Great Hall. He failed to see Draco’s smile. it was on the day of graduation, which was sunny and bright, when Harry Potter was making his way through the crowd to find Lucius. ((Harry sported sunglasses and very refined clothes, so it was easy to go unnoticed)). Especially when the hordes of reporters expected him to walk across for his diploma. He found a chair and sat next to Lucius. The boring monotony of speeches had begun. “Good Morning Lucius,” Harry said softly. “Harry?” Lucius looked astonished. Harry put a finger to his lips and Lucius immediately understood. “I received my diploma yesterday .” “ clever.” //Lucius has dry style and less words on both mens part creates an illusion of mystery and makes their relationship seem even telepathic in nature// Lucius nodded his head at Harry who nodded back. “I was both surprised and pleased to hear you accepted our invitation.” // This is how far I got :) Thanks for your patience. I hope this helped even slightly.. You don't even have to change anything about THIS fic, but to improve future works one usually has have some sort of pointers on what to improve in their writing. Marisa
Squrlie Jack 2007-01-20 ch 1,	abuseIt was really good a little sappy but over all very good :)
TheOneThatIsAddictedToHPfic... 2006-10-04 ch 1,	abusecute...
slashslut 2006-08-18 ch 1,	abusesquee that was so cute!
Beautiful-Boy-Love 2006-06-10 ch 1,	abuseDude i am usually not itno one-shots but I absolutely love yours!
HPobsession 2006-01-12 ch 1,	abuseI can see why this story won, it wa excellent i was delighted to read a story with this pairing that didn't involve any crucio's...great stuff! with love, hpobsession.
angel of hamsters 2006-01-07 ch 1,	abuseaww very fluffy
Sensation 2005-12-23 ch 1,	abuseLucius / Harry, isn't my first choise. But this one is actually sweet.

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