Hrm, interesting... so Raven's decided to switch uniforms eh? I recall vaguely having seen her in her comics incarnation in something like that, but I'm not an expert on the comics by any means, so I could easily be wrong.
I liked Rag and Cyborg's chit-chat there, especially his comment about how busy they've all been. There needs to be time for video games and eating meat too!
Ah, and so everyone vanishes and it's up to our two new heroes to defeat the dastardly kidnappers! An oldie but a goodie. I liked that you snuck in a few lines like "You fiend!"
I'm a traditionalist :)
Dare I ask what in the hell was in that random garage? Wait no... we are never speaking of it again. :)
Oh dear god, Ragnarok driving? If they survive the next chapter, it will be a bloody miracle.
Anyway, excellent setup chapter for your next sequence, and I hope to see the next installment soon!
you are amazing.your fight scenes and ability for writing never ceases to amaze me. hehe silkie saved hotspot! ”Today, famous actor and former NRA president Charlton Heston announced his immediate resignation from the National Rifle Association,” omg i knew that had to come sooner or later.! yay ravens back. cant wait for the next arc.!
Abject apologies for taking my time to drop a review of this chapter of this story. The reason is simple. I read through part way, realized I had no idea what was going on, and decided that it would be necessary to read the previous chapters to figure it out.
... several days later...
This chapter was hilarious, first and foremost. I loved Starfire's line “Is the ability to return from the dead the measure of a hero on this planet?”. "Ani-monday" was also a great line. And I caught that line you took from Dusk Till Dawn by the way :)
Very chaotic battle sequence here, but it wasn't particularly hard to follow, which is testament to your planning. I liked the pacing of the fights, and I felt that everyone was properly in character, though the OCs I have less capacity to speak on, I admit. All in all, excellent work.
And lest you thought I forgot, thank you very much both for the cameo, and for your note explaining its origin. I can only imagine what David and Carrie would be doing in that situation, presuming the events of my story never occurred of course, but to speculate would unfortunately reveal a bit too much about what's going on in my story, and so I'll leave it at that.
Anyhow, excellent work, and now that I'm caught up in the story, I shall schedule alerts to inform me when next it is updated, that I may read on!
I seriously suggest Microsoft Word, or some kind of grammar program if you have it. There were several instances of a distinct lack of a space in between words.
Other than that, the chapter is magnificent, as usual.
the fecal matter is about to strike the devotee? what does that mean? neway this just keeps getting better and better. does having their weakness gone mean that starfire is no longer the ace in the hole? keep it up
In any case, this chapter was almost flawless. The humor was well-timed, and Ragnarok's lines were all great. You're able to implement several story lines (Yin/Blight/Vampires/Other) all at once. The twist at the end was perfect.
Only problem? About five typos in this chapter.
Stake not steak. (When Miheala is talking about weaknesses of Vampires)
Put not pup. (when Cyborg's talking about Yin being in the Tower)
More spaces necessary when Yin was talking about the Vampire Hunter Game (another hysterical bit of humor).
There may have been one or two others, but I can't remember.
The enlightened aspect of vampires should be interesting to hear about.
I cannot wait for the next chapter. It's progressing well.
Asta
CerberAsta 10/22/07 . chapter 21
Blight is certainly an interesting character. Original, I presume? I like how you portray the vampires as victims. It's an interesting take on them. Cthulu and Insane Yin cracked me up.
It's still not fixed. :P I got to tease you because I say so.
Another chapter with Davis! Yippee! -continues to dance-
Davis will be a part-time Teen Titan? Right. We'll see how long that lasts.
But you did make the situation very realistic with the involvement of his parents. It does seem a little backwards, though. With the way you characterized and focused on Davis' mother, you'd think that she'd be the one to resist David joining the team. However, you're the writer.
The funniest part in this chapter for me was the part with Cyborg's question and saying he couldn't join the team. -gigglesnort- Loved it!
I loved the entire chapter and I can't wait for the next one. When's that going to be, Ben? -pokes-
No, that does not give you permissioin to hassle me about my late updates. Just cause.
The chapter was great. And Davis is a really believable character. You did good, Ben. :D
However...well, I'm not sure I understand the connectioin between Davis' power and his metahuman power. And in one spot you call him Yin instead on Davis when his it hasn't even been introduced that that is what he is going to be called. Tis tres confusing.
But other than that, I loved the chapter! I love Davis! -huggles him-
(It's late and I'm starting to get random. You'll forgive me, correct?
No, I'm not dead! _ And I know that silliness was the goal, but there is a limit. I just found those excerpts a little distracting is all.
Anyway, my review.
Unfortunately, this chapter mostly consisted of action and me, not being an expert on action, won't have anything really worthwhile to say. I thought it was great, Ben. But someone that knows more may feel otherwise. Though, anyone that dislikes your stories shall feel the wrath of my mutant kittens! :D
I will say this, though. Your sound effects still rocketh my sockeths!
And speaking of that...that song was one of the funniest things I've ever heard! -drops onto the flor unceremoniously. giggling uncontrollably-
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