Let me ask you a question here: When you watch Big O, is that the voice and dialect that Dorothy uses?

Very good! You captured her character into your story pefectly is would seem. You also make the reader think more about Dorothy. Even though she may look like a no emotion andriod on the outside, she seems to have a war brewing on from inside her between her Dorothy personality trying to come out, and her android side.

For a first, it's pretty damn good. Even if it weren't a first, I'd still say it was a beautiful story and still pretty damn good.

Very Beautiful.And it has lots of deep meaning.

short and sweet, write more please...

One word: Beautiful!

This was great!

_ I loved it! Great perception!

It's not too bad and I think you should continue but I think it's a little short. Other than that, your command of English seems pretty good. Do write more.

Touching! Enjoyed reading this!

please do not write anymore. how dreadfully dreary!

That was great! You should write another.