Very good style, especially like the ending line.
A few scentences in the beginning the flow is off, but other than that...I'm sure if you read it over you'll catch it.Minor things.
Great piece!

-M. Lewis-

You seriously need a beta. Looks to me like you've run spell-check but ended up with the wrong words all over the place. Your sentence structure needs some mending too; even if it's stream-of-consciousness style, it needs to make some kind of sense.

Feel free to e-mail me, I could beta for you or help you find one.