the reader turns purple, his heart ejaculating slick black blood into every vein and artery as he vomits a salubrious iridescent ooze out of his mouth and into the air and back into his own mouth. It tastes like vegemite, not the kind of vegemite you used to be able to get in Australia, but the cheap knockoff vegemite they use instead of gunpowder to cut coke in Nepal because they dont even notice the gunpowder any more, it's in everything, everything except the cheap six months behind the expiration date vegemite, the primal ooze in which vampire snakes spontaneously solidify, a beguiling susurrus of serpents of all colours, all tasting of vegemite, none of them fit to put on a sandwich, and lurking alone at the bottom of the death's-head-embossed can of vegemite lies a face, and in the face mumbles a scream, but nobody hears it because the face's lips are sewn shut with black threads culled from the intestines of thirty albino ravens, and if those black threads only could, they would disintegrate that mouth into a fine red pulpy mist and let the primal blood-ringed mouth hole scream in the voice of a sixty-winged unpleasantness.

The face would moan piteously and ask, "Why the fuck did you write this?"

This is a work of art.

Well...I guess...at least it's readable...AKA, better than stuff like My Immortal...but...um...what the hell were you on when you wrote this? And what is the plot meant to be? Where does Bellatrix come in? Or Seamus? Just...what the hell?

wat

I just finished reading this and all I have to say is, wHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU ON WHEN YOU WROTE THIS?! I CAN'T EVEn...i'm laughing too hard to actually think straight I'll just go now

I know I'm insane but seriously...

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS?!

I can't even comprehend the level of insanity, booze and LSD needed to write this.

That said, it's better than My Immortal. Good for you.

-V

I delved into this whilst staggered in the depths of Sanity. She was sweet, yet all things must come to an end.

You have thrust me into the mind of an insane person.

It is beautiful.

I attempted to read this fanfiction, but as my eyes grazed the words a crack appeared on my laptop screen. I watched, transfixed, as the English language itself collapsed in holy rapture, screaming in orgasmic glee from the joy of being made love to by Secondpillow's opus. The resulting hole in the space-time continuum sucked me into a land of fire-breathing cyborg dragons with rocket launchers. As I hide from their flaming wrath and reflect upon my situation, I can draw only one conclusion:

I am insane now. And it is beautiful.

What an inspiring story of astronottary!

This story seems like something a Dadaist would masturbate to.

After reading this story, I think I may have just seen the mind of a mental patient high on LSD. Its a terrifying place.

What?

Where has this story been all my life?

This is a literary masterpiece.

That's all I'm saying.

Huh. So this is what it's like to enter an amalgamation of the mindsets of David Lynch and Richard Chase.