I thought Frato and your author name sounded familiar. The sentinel was the name of your previous Fic not titles Burmecian Cronicles. While that is still my favorite story that you have authord, I enjoyed this one. It was a good read. Thanks for posting it! Good luck with your next ones.

Ooh! Dragon's Crest! That's like Freya's best move! I like to use it in the game. I wonder what the other demons are called? Good work!!

I really like this story. You keep being mysterious, but I like that. Your made up characters are pretty cool. I like Blaine, and how he's Burmece. I never imagined Lindblum, Burmecia, and Madain Sari having Holy spirits like Alexandria. I wonder who the demon is? Keep up the good work!!

Back again, and I'd just like to say hat I found no flaws with this chapter and you are one of the few writers who's work I can read repeatedly, well done. I like the introduction of a demon-Burmecian and I hope this will be the beginning of some much needed action...~Dazz~

Hey Robshi, sorry I haven't reviewed in a while but I've been incredibly overloaded with exams recently. I liked this chapter, even though it was a little short and I got slightly confused when Frato's group set out in the morning because Kildea is still standing shocked in Cleyra.

M, superpower catfight.

(Sealing yourself from the world can be considered an act of hatred. You do not want to be part of the world. I shall answer your call, summoner. I will protect you from the world, just like you want. I shall destroy the world, and then it cannot harm you. In the sanctuary of the afterlife, you will not need protection, as you cannot be harmed...)
Nice line. It rings like Necron's speech, profoundly twisted.

By the way:
("Forget about me." Blaine said weakly.)
Commas go in place of full-stops when they're inside quotation marks like that. ie:
"Forget about me," Blaine said weakly.
I've noticed that mistake all over your fic.

So you are sir frato and blaine? Very good story, what are Sir Frato moves if you don't mind me asking?

Nice FFIX story from a different perspective, I'm real interested to see where you'll take this i was always saddened that Cleyra wasnt restored real nice continuity.

I'm a little surprised that Blaine had to give up his ruse so easily. On the other hand, hooray for antagonist! A true conflict is thus revealed, albeit a simple spin on angels vs. demons.

Blaine's suggestion that the demons are the cause of Gaia's wars is a naive stretch that seems to give way too much credit to human nature. Does he really believe that? It sounds like the nations of the Mist Continent saying, "The Devil made me do it."

(The Dragon Knights readied their lances and were now in battle positions. The demon heard them getting ready for battle. He turned and noticed their battle positions and began to chuckle.)
Redundancy attacks again. Using the word "battle" in three consecutive sentences (and then "battle positions" for two of those three) is really jarring.

I await the outcome of this battle...

Yay for Updates! Anyways, on with a quick review...

I really enjoyed this chapter (As well as the rest of the story); Are you sure your stories don't come with an addiction spell? *lol* anyway, You've done really good here, although there were a couple minor gramatical errors. Good job, and keep up the good work!

Have you ever tried to eat sawdust? I myself have not, but you strike me as the type who might.

At any rate, I have been told that it is a very vaguely unpleasant experience, like chewing on semi-solid nothing, having all your saliva sucked from you and leaving an intense, dry feeling of bland distaste permeating your mouth for hours afterward.

Going on this information, I would say that the experience of reading your fanfiction is very much like mentally eating sawdust. All enjoyment and interest is almost instantaneously sucked from the reader by the unheralded mediocrity of your exceptionally dry writing style portraying tired ideas.

Your story has successfully been added to the C2 Community 'Five Star Final Fantasy'.

Thanks for writing, and keep it up!

Your prose is fairly dry and straightforward, not exactly engaging. Your descriptions are helpful for getting a sense of the setting, though be careful not to throw out too many useless details. The dialogue isn't bad, and the plot looks promising. I also like that this fic is focusing on a very minor character--points for an original subject.

Now, some thoughts and nitpicks:

("Was one of those ‘eidolons’ responsible for the annihilation of my home?")
How can Kildea have researched Cleyra for a year and not yet know how it was destroyed? That seems unlikely, though possible; Either Brahne's tactics in obliterating Cleyra weren't common knowledge, or Daugerreo is too far removed from the Mist Continent for that kind of news to reach her. Either way, it's still an odd thing not to know. Has she been wondering why her treehouse went "kaboom" this whole time?

I can't say much on the "love at first sight" here. I guess I'll see where it takes our characters. I can understand the power of a charismatic personality, though.

To concur with fyre byrd, I also immediately thought of Roman Catholicism when I read "Holy Spirit." The thought was reinforced when I read "Father Blaine" later on. It's interesting imagery.

I see the explanation you wrote for why Burmece didn't stop the Black Mage invasion, though it seems absurd compared to the excuse you could have much more easily used: Don't you need its magic stone to summon it? Wasn't that magic stone over in Cleyra at the time, workin' up a sandstorm? Burmece couldn't have been summoned anyway, even if the Burmecians did remember how to.

"His Majesty," "Her Highness," etc. should be capitalized. Moreover, princes/princesses are "Highness" and queens/kings are "Majesty."

Kildea's nervousness around the Alexandrians and Beatrix is pretty extreme, even if it is justified. Do all Burmecians have her attitude towards Alexandria, even with Garnet on the throne? Blaine seems much more comfortable and reasonable around them.

(Kildea watched in horror as a replay of Cleyra’s destruction played through her mind, the dark eidolon warrior reducing her home, family and friends into nothing more than cinders and ash.)
NOW she magically remembers that Cleyra was blown up by an eidolon. This isn't consistent with Kildea's thoughts in the first chapter.

How did ANYONE survive the attack on Cleyra, anyway? The place was reduced to ashes in seconds. That's not a crit on your fic, really; the game is kinda dumb and vague on that one. I'd be interested to see how your fic might explain that, though.

(Blaine paid the keeper for looking after their chocobos and they mounted the large yellow birds and set off into the mist)
Mist? Is this some random mist, or THE Mist, which is gone by the end of the game?

I admire Kildea's good-willed determination. The truth about Blaine surprised me. It explains a lot about his words and actions in earlier chapters; the way he asked for Kildea to take the stone from Garnet makes more sense, for one.

I'm actually happy for Kildea's wish coming true, though it feels too easy--there's a catch here somewhere, isn't there? Or maybe it really is an eidolon miracle.

(The following morning saw the Dragon Knights up early for their journey. They left Burmecia in the early hours and made the journey)
Redundant wording with "early" there.

(At the top of the newly reformed Cleyran tree, Kildea was looking just as dumbstruck as Freya and Fratley were as she looked at the top of the tree where the Cleyran settlement had stood.)
Cut out one of the "at the top"s.

There's no real conflict yet, but I'm gonna keep my eye on this one, to see how our heroes deal with these strange developments.

Your idea of opening this section with a dream of Kildea's about a restored Cleyra is a good one. But I don't feel her delight and joy at having the city restored. It would seem to me that she would feel some kind of emotion about this dream. Perhaps if you let the reader know what Kildea was thinking as she gave her old accustomed tour we could share more fully in her emotions.

I find it a little odd that Blaine, being such a stranger is bold enough to simply walk into Kildea's room and shake her awake.

I am not sure that the captain of a ship would be the one to untie it from a dock. Also, it would have to be a ship rather than a boat, a large vessel for travelling over the sea.

You have explored the fact that Alexandria and Burmecia must come to terms of peace after the Mist Wars, but you have not addressed the troubles or at least the silence that existed between Burmecia and Cleyra for hundreds if not thousands of years.

Certainly, Cleyra willingly sheltered the Burmecians after they were attacked, but would they have perhaps laid some blame on Burmecia for bringing Kuja and Brahne to their doorstep? Would there not still exist some difference of opinion between two nations that had separated centuries ago due to an irreconcilable argument about war & peace? These are things you might want to think about.

Also if no one in Burmecia or Cleyra remembers the tale of Burmece how did the maunscript describing the eidolons come to be in the Daguerreo library and why has no one else read it?

Why do Blaine and Kildea take chocobos instead of an airship as he proposed? If he is in a hurry surely that would be quicker.

Your story has some interesting and original ideas, but I believe that it might really benefit from another editor. I didn't point out all of the small errors I found because I didn't want it to be overkill. Everyone benefits from having an editor because anyone can miss small errors in their own writing.

I think it's interesting that you choose a minor character from the game to write your story about. This is also an original topic since I have never seen anyone concern themselves with the rebuilding of Cleyra, although I think it must be quite difficult since it was made of a giant tree.

I also think it is interesting that you call your eidolon "The Holy Spirit." Something that you should keep in mind about this name is that it is going to instantly (for many people anyway) call to mind the Catholic religion and one part of The Holy Trinity. I don't know if you intended to call that to mind or not, but you can't help but do so given the name you have chosen.

Some nitpicking (please keep in mind you can ignore my opinions at any time. I am aware that they are only my opinions and I am not writing them to offend anyone):

I believe that this is the proper spelling of "Dagguereo." It is an odd name which I found confusing myself.

fifth paragraph: "After having just over one year after her escape from Cleyra, Kildea was sleeping peacefully on one of the many hammocks in the upper floors of the library provided by the librarians with a book laid in her lap. " I don't see the purpose of the word "having" here. It doesn't seem to make sense.

In the sixth paragraph I am not sure that "noble" is the proper word to describe the book.

In the ninth paragraph: "In large, bold, black and delicately written handwriting placed in the centre of the page read the title" should read ". . . in the centre of the page Kildea read the title."

In the tenth paragraph: "Maybe this was book she had been searching for." "the" is necessary before "book."

twenty-seventh paragraph: "She tried her best not to be succumb by his beautiful voice. “Yes...I see. What is your name?”" "she tried her best not to succumb to his beautiful voice" would be more appropriate here.

thirty-first paragraph: "In fact, I was thinking of leaving this library so I could obtain the jewel to put the books words into practice.” "book's" is possesive here and so you need an apostrophe.

Paragraph thirty seven: "That, plus she didn’t have much money to begin with." This is a sentence fragment. I would suggest combining it with the previous sentence.

I find it interesting that you choose to incorporate the name of the city into each of these eidolons, no doubt taking your hint from Alexander and Alexandria.

Your description of Burmece is also interesting. I am surprised that Kildea isn't a little bit more frightened that someone approached her while she was asleep. That would certainly make me wary.

I am not sure that calling the Burmecian Priest "Father Blaine" is the best decision, given that the Cleyrans had titles like "Moon Maiden Claire," I would think that his title might be similarly unusual. That is just a suggestion though. Burmecians are obviously different from Cleyrans.

I also find the scene at the end of this chapter odd. Kildea seemed to me in the game to be a rather mature Cleyran. If she is younger though and having crushes a bit like a teenager, perhaps you could change her tone of voice when she is speaking. No dreamy teenager would sound quite as formal as Kildea. Again, this is simply my opinion.

Your strength is definitely in your ability to imagine and tackle a very original subject which no one has really touched on before, but I think you might want to consider some of your choices more carefully. It is difficult to break new ground because you have to make many thing sup for yourself. You've set yourself a difficult task and this is a good start.