Mkay, this is your first review, YAY! and I'm goin gto try my luck at being a critic. Oh boy! lol and I really don't mean to sound rude either! *shakes head fast*

Anyway, first off. Don't center the story in the middle of the page. It's hard to read.

Second, you'll want to make your paragraphs together. Take this one for example:

"I felt some people staring at me but I just bushed it off my shoulder and continued walking.

Suddenly some one pouched on me."

The correct, and better way, is this:

"I felt some people staring at me but I just bushed it off my shoulder and continued walking, then suddenly someone pounced on me."

Third, get a beta reader, someone who will read your chapers before you post them, telling you spelling errors and whatnot. And you'll be set! -

I truly hope I didn't offend you or upset you! I'd really like to see where this fic is going! If you'd like, I could be your beta reader. I've done a lot of beta reading in my life time. - anywho, please continue this!