who did clarisa marry?

Great start to the story mate, oh the fools thought that Harry killed Cedric, well seeing that no-one knew that Moody was a frak, they wouldn't think otherwise.

Oh I like this character Clarisa and what she did. How could you change Harry into a girl... I just hope that he date another girl and not a boy.

Your dialogue needs some work. Here is a site that should help.

http://josephinedarcy./paragraphs.html

This should help to make you fic easier to understand.

keep doing you writing these are very good and mean it

I'm lost of words. Your Story is more than Fantastic. Please continue it as soon as possible.

She shouldn't have gone back. I like Independent Girl Harry ^_^ Much better!

wow that was good but i have one big ? what sertain red haired guy?

I like it. Very original. I also like that Harry mentally turned to a girl as well.

great job, keep it up

arg what red haired young man hm please I beg of you not ron anyone but ron please just tell me it wasnt ron =)

Great read thank you.



Hemotem

I'm lost of words. Your Story is more than Fantastic. Please continue it as soon as possible.

I'm lost of words. Your Story is more than Fantastic. Please continue it as soon as possible.

ok this story has a great plot! Its good but ur riting could definatly b improved! like, i just dont think harry would do that all! like, after a minute of thought, change into a girl and then after a month go back 2 him friends who left him 2 rot. No offence, it just doesn't sound realistic. well, keep riting, u have potential

I haven't read the rest of the story, but...Not to be cruel, or mean or anything like that. I really hate saying mean stuff to people so I try not to do it. I really do think that so far in this chapter the idea that you're working with has merit, but I think that you should *seriously* consider getting a beta. It would make this story flow so much better. Right now it's really choppy, the dialogue is all in the same paragraphs, etc. If you *do* need a beta, I can either get a friend of mine to do it for you or I can do it for yourself if you can't find one by yourself.

This is, of course, just a suggestion. I'm not saying that your story sucks, or anything like that. It's just that the structure, from what I saw in the first chapter, needs a bit of work.

Sorry if you totally don't appreciate this review, I'm just trying to help.

.Atrum.Decor.

this just isnt my cup'o tea so to speak :)