And now he's pretty much forcing everyone to join his army. It's a shame what happened to Wade. He was different from his father, actually putting some faith into Hardin's old innocence. I mean, he tried to get him out of that situation and look at what happened to him. Granted, Wavewall did deserve what happened to him, but Wade certainly didn't deserve the trauma that followed his death. And now he's become Wade Stormsail- Hitler of the Redwall world. Tragic, how he had faith in a vermin once and it completely blew up in his face so that now he has a personal vendetta against them. It's strange how while both of them are on different sides, both are almost exactly the same. They don't care what sacrifices they take as long as they destroy the other side and both were once good-hearted but were betrayed into hating the other side.

Although a lot of things connected well with Shattered Glass, I don't think that Sratha was quite as benevolent or neutral in this story. Well, then again, I suppose that there had to be someone pushing Hardin to his limits to make him what he is. Maybe the whole evil control and power thing just got out of control? Same thing with that vixen seer as well. Both of them came from tribes that were taken over, so their ambitions went too far with Hardin.

But do you know what Hardin reminded me of a bit? He reminded me a lot of Mithos from the Tales of Symphonia game. He was a character that hated being discriminated, so he tried to get rid of souls so that everyone's a robot so that discrimination ended. Like Hardin, he started out sort of peacefully, only he kept on getting betrayed and hurt by the "purer" races. And in this story, where we got to see some of Hardin's dead naivity, I was reminded of Rurouni Kenshin from the OVA. Both of them started out being orphaned by war and taken in by some solitary fighter that kinda pushed them to their limits (but in RK, the mentor was so much nicer). And in the end, both of them felt that change was needed in this world and that could only be accomplished by killing. I guess I kinda saw a dark Kenshin in Hardin then?

OK, rating time.

Plot: 8/10

Well, now we've got some light shed on why Hardin is so messed up and twisted. Such a tragic story.

Characterization: 8/10

It was nice characterization, though I don't think Sratha matched well with the character we saw in Shattered Glass. Also, I don't quite understand some of the motivation the greatrats had in working at Ornell or why anyone would go there in the first place. I would think that Redwall would try to get rid of it. I mean, that place is everything they stand against.

Also, I like how you focused on a tight group of characters. If there were any more of them, Hardin could've been completely different. I mean, he was molded into what he was based on those few people that have brainwashed him and let all those terrible things happen to him. If he maybe met someone kinder and wiser and more understanding, he might've gone another direction.

Pacing: 9/10

I like your pacing, even though this entire story is short and I wish it were longer.

Overall: 8.5/10

It wasn't quite as good as Shattered Glass but it was a very nice and interesting read of my favorite character. More tragedy in your stories though... and I still feel depressed. Again, it was nice to finally (and surprisingly) find that first Redwall fanfiction I read all those years back. It certainly was nostalgic and now I feel like reading The Taggerung all over again. :)

Well obviously, Hardin's changed a lot from the innocent guy we saw in Chapter 1. I can say that Juskaja was probably one of the more peaceful tribes before it was exterminated, though Sratha obviously messed him up- he and that Ornell place. It makes me wonder though, why those rats would be willing to work at a place that exterminates their own kind. It seems too servile, really.

And then Hardin is letting all his ego get into his head. It's ironic, when he was talking about the spider, since I know what happens to him much later in the story.

~Jade TeaLeaf

Yup. This is definitely the story I'd read so long ago. Though, I believe I only stopped here because I couldn't stand the thought of otters being the bad guys. Just read The Taggerung, you see. Deyna was my favorite character of all time.

And what's this? He learned his moves from the Rambling Rosehip Players? How ironic... and Wade is his benefactor turned enemy? And does he turn his last name into Stormsail? If he does, this is very very weirdly ironic. You have to do a story on him someday then. But I thought that Wade was the leader during the burning of Hardin's original tribe?

Well, I'm getting nostalgic again just reading this. I have to say, it's quite a pleasant surprise being introduced to this story again. I didn't expect to bump into it. :)

~Jade TeaLeaf

You always make otters the bad woodlanders. Well, I'd have to say that besides badgers, they're the most powerful fighters. Do you know what's funny? This chapter sounds familiar. I believe I might've read it years and years before, back when I was on FF mainly for anime fanfiction. He meets an otter that tries to give him a chance to get out, right? Or maybe I'm mistaken? Anyways, if I'm right and it is the first Redwall Fanfiction I read, then I've been looking for this story for a very long time.

But seriously though, I wonder why Hardin still calls Sratha "father". It seems like Ashtor's the only one remotely nice to him. And if Sratha hates woodlanders so much, why is he willing to dump Hardin in a place where an otter calls the shots? Ironic, no? And that pretty ottermaid reminds me of Sorcha. I hope it isn't her. That Wavewall guy reminds me of Odran.

~Jade TeaLeaf

Funny, I thought Sratha Din was the more peaceful one back in Like Shattered Glass. And Lynta seemed against his violence too. And now the tables had turned. Sheesh, no wonder why Hardin hated them both. And he was so nice and honorable back then. What happens next must've really screwed him up.

~Jade TeaLeaf

It's a very emotional disturbance when you look from another perspective of how life turned out for somebody, despite if it's the kindest person you would ever meet, or someone that would murder you without regret.

It's inspiring to seeing a different perspective of Hardin; once he was innocent, then tortured through pain and sorrow all his life...and currupting him into a killer. Sorta like seeing Calder from his life experiences over time.

Good work man

I feel that the so called vermin have had a bum rap here. I do think Wade should of relized his father was evil.

Great finish. An end to a story, and yet at the same time, the beginning of one.

Vulpuz being able to take the form of a spider...nice idea, that. *snorts* can't believe how much the Juska changed. They're weak.

MWAHAHAHAHA!! Waveworm-oops, I mean WaveWALL got what was coming for him! But I liked his son, who seemed to not like his father's idea of vermin fighting to the death as much.

Wavewall seems very cruel for an otter. He may think he's making the vermin pay for what they've done in their evil lives, but if he does something as cruel as that, he's just evil himself.

I liked that, nice way to be Hardin, it makes you feel sorry for him kind of, it makes you feel sorry that he died so quickly, he was not evil, but he was a problem, according to redwallers at least. Keep it up, I liked it :)

-Talamo Equirez-

This is an excellent start, Quilano. There are some grammatical errors here and there ("The mouse shank back") but those are of really no consequence. You first-person style allows the reader to perceive what the main character perceives and feel what he feels.

I have not read all your works yet--Like Shattered Glass looks very enjoyable from what little I saw--but I will in the near future.

Please, keep up the good work. I look forward to future installments.