DOBBY IS DEAD.

I found it really weird that you made Harry marry this weird person, she is a crazy evil mutant thingie, and this story just seems a bit rushed to me. It seems like you didn't spend much time developing this story. And, you wrote this before the seventh book came out right? That will explain why all the people didn't die or get married.

It gets better and better!

Very promising so far, will continue to read when I can. Looks like the begining of a very good fan fic :)

omg i love this story i really hope you keep writing!

Wow, Lily is a BITCH! I don't think I've ever read a story where Lily is the evil whore... sorry for the swears, just POed at that arrogant toerag!

Who is the twin's mom?

Hold on. Olivia? OLIVIA? Who the bloody hell is Olivia? I was under the very strong impression that Harry married Ginny. What the crows is going on?

I must comment on the following things:

“Scared of what?” I asked Spencer quietly, “Falling in the lake? What’s to be scared of?”

Wow. What a stinging comeback. Really witty, you are. Couldn't have said it better myself. You should be a comedian.

HONESTLY.

“Oh,” Celeste said awed, “It’s really big. And it looks so, well, for lack of a better word, magical.”

I'm afraid I have to tell you that Gred and Forge would have been deeply ashamed to find that that was the best their blood relative could come up with.

In case you've forgotten, Dobby has green tennis ball eyes, not blue dinner plates. Dobby also happens to be dead. Why not use Kreacher instead?

From Harry's letter, you make Ginny sound like a witch-in Muggle terms. I rather like Ginny. Please don't ruin her.

Oh dear.

First and certainly foremost, Ginny may have the classic redhead temper, and she may well be subject to losing it. The redhead temper is something I know quite well, and it explodes whene'er it deems appropriate. You just cannot control who you blow up at. And I really don't think she would pick favorites among her children, especially to that extreme.

Secondly, Harry grew up with Dudley, who was pampered and adored blindly while Harry was treated like something the cat dragged in (not that Petunia would ever abide cats in her stringently clean abode). Riley's story sounds oddly reminiscent of Harry's, does it not? And the 'climbing to the school roof' bit, also reflects on a time in his childhood. Surely, Harry-of all people-would take note of this, and relate to Riley much better than he does to Lily, who sounds like an evil version of Hermione? Certainly, Harry (who's every joy is Quidditch) would never discourage his child from trying out, despite the fact that she is a first year, and therefore not allowed, at any rate?

You make Harry and Ginny sound no better than the Dursleys. Most people rather like Harry and Ginny (myself included), and won't be likely to take kindly to this view. Also, isn't Riley a trifle bitter to be eleven? And I really doubt that Lily and Riley's 'duel' will be recorded in history books for years to come, as little happened other than Lily's comeuppance.

Riley sounds suspiciously like a Mary Sue. Her abnormal power of telekineses surely has nothing to do with this. Nothing at all.

Hahaha! That's really all I have to say, other than if this story hadn't been written before DH, I probably wouldn't like it as much.

Quite simply, your chairecter is a Mary-Sue. All cannon chairecters mentioned are roughly 95% out of chairecter,

your Original Chairecter is far too perfect, far too powerful and far to Angisty.

OMG I love this story. It's probably the best HP story I've read in a long time. You're such a good writer and your ideas are really good. I really don't have any suggestions for you so... keep writing your other stories. YAY!

Even though some people seem not to like it I thought it was good. Then again I find that some times if the accents are written out it is harder to understand. They just can't write it write sometimes. Also I am an American so I would not know the British lingo.

Wow...I cannot imagine Ginny and Harry being bad parents and always yelling at one of their kids, favoring the other. I like the story but their charatcers are a little bit OOC, dont you think. But its good! I luff it so far. Logan Malfoy...Who did dracey-poo marry?

Danielle