This was really sweet! The only probalem was the grammar...it wasn't that good. However, this was still good. Great job! (:

Angelica

I liked it, very nice.

Wow, I really liked this great fic

Another top story from a writer who seems to really tap into Lupin and Tonk's interesting relationship. The dialogue is witty and believable. An all round brill job.

AWESOME! Awesome awesome awesome. Did I mention this is awesome?! AWESOME

it was gud and i think u should add another chapter becasue only as u start writing will u get the hang of things and it will slowly improve dont wworry i am backing u up 100%

Really cute!! No one shot! More! update it second chapter we demand it!

Thank you for making those changes! It is much better and easier to read this time over. There are a few grammar and punctuation mistakes that would improve the piece, and I find that when you have dialogue, it flows smoother if you go to the next line when someone new speaks.

Sorry I'm being such a stickler for grammar.

Anyway, I really liked Tonks' reaction to her falling, that was incredibly satisfying and revealing about the emotional state she'd been in before, and how she is now. Yay!

hey, nice job.
BUT...
it would be much easier to read and appreciate if you formatted it in the usual style, with paragraphs, no double spaces except between paragraphs, (it's not really an essay, is it?)
Also, when you have quotation marks, the punctuation should go on the inside, so '"your hair it's turning pink",' should be "your hair it's turning pink,"

At least that's the way I normally see it, i think French has different punctuation rules, but yeah...
I'd love it if you could repost it in paragraph fomat! THis story has potential.. I'm just fickle and unable to concentrate properly on a story if it's in a different format.

cute:)

that was a good idea and great story but you could work on the structure of your writing, like using paragraphs, and the dialogue was kind of hard to read. good job!

I really like the plot. The way it was written. it was very passinate Keep writting.

I don't really know the characters or their backgrounds, but this is a well written, enjoyable piece! I hope to read more of your works soon. Keep up the good work!

Jo