I love this! Do keep up the good work!

I like your Susan and her disconnect with Narnia. Tis how I imagine it would be, like a memory fading and yet, being pushed aside at the same time.

I do like this a great deal - as I have said to you in PMs. But, I really should get around to reviewing it, so I am!

You manage to do what so few people on this site do - whcih is catch the genuine meaning behind what Lewis was writing. Too often we get half-baked stories about Susan and how she is still a "good Christian" or "good Narnian" and that Aslan is being cruel. I have read ones where Peter persuades him to let her back in.

No, no, no - people need to do what you have clearly done; read what Lewis wrote and Christ said. Susan turned her back on Narnia, she left Aslan, she said "No", she took her hand off the plough. That's it. It happened. Like the nurse in "Misery", I say "If you are going to write a sequel, start where the prequel left off."

Which you have done! I really do like this - because you show the hollowness of Susan's life via not only the descriptions, but the use of words such as "tinkling" and the fact Susan is always smiling but not happy.

The dialogue between the sisters is very good - Susan's crysal veneer of joy and Lucy's desperation are very good indeed.

The one criticism I have is the sudden switch to present tense in the middle of the work; I think it does add immediacy, but that it does not seem appropriate to have it in just those places.

A very good piece indeed.

wow that was so sad, but i loved it, it's really well written

well-written, though the ending seemed a bit...off? dunno. but nice dialogue between susan and lucy.

I don't hink this story is exactly finished. I mean, you didn't exactly put an ending to it, or at least I didn't see it.

Oh, wow. This was great! I really liked this. I always felt so sad that Susan was no longer a 'believer in Narnia'. I like to think that later on, she found her way back.

But the interaction between Susan and Lucy! You've written it wonderfully. This is a beautiful fic.

Nicely written