Reviews for Together Forever

Reviews For: Together Forever - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

arian 2008-08-08 ch 2, anon.	abuseplease wright whats going to happen!
Hope Cooper 2007-12-16 ch 2,	abuse...ok...like it but why can't Sly see bentley or Murray again? It makes no sense there! he can still see them...or can't he?
EJ Amber 2007-12-14 ch 2,	abuseHi there! I like the idea of Sly fusing himself to Clockwerk. Your execution is pretty good-- you haven't ruined it, anyway. Still, I think you could benefit from getting a beta-reader to edit your fic. Also, pay attention to tense! Parts of this are written in present tense, with random sentences in past tense, and then the last half of this chapter became past tense. It's confusing! That makes it harder for people to read the story, meaning fewer people enjoy it. That's a real shame, since not only are they cheated out of a wonderful fic, but you lose reviews! So mind the tense-- you can write in past tense, which is common, or in present tense, which has its good points and its drawbacks, and is somewhat unique. But whatever you do, PICK ONE. Anyway, with the bad stuff said, I find the idea intriguing. I like the story-- it's quite sad, but in a good way. The POV switches are a stylistic choice, but setting them apart with, say, italics might be a good choice, rather than the "Sly's POV", "End Sly's POV" notes. Still, your choice. I like the use of Thief Reflexes in Chapter 1. Seriously, that's one of my favorite Power-Ups (Shadow Power and the Paraglider are my other two favorites!) and I like the way you worked it into the story, especially Bentley's explanation. Watch the dialogue, as long stretches of it can come off sounding like the author, not the characters (long monologues, I should say, not long stretches of conversation), but overall your characterization is good. In sum: mind the tense, but overall I like your story!
flame the keyblade dragon 2007-02-17 ch 2,	abusehey please make a sequl for this a good tille would be "dreams of a memories past
hitokiri youkai 2005-12-06 ch 2,	abuseThis is so good! I feel so sorry for Sly though, but then again that's why I read this so, great job. Keep it comin'
Red Panda Bear 2005-11-28 ch 2,	abuseThat chapter was great! update soon.
EDK 2005-11-17 ch 2,	abuse... I can't belive you had Sly do something like THAT! Please update, I want to know happens next!
Kawaii Spider 2005-11-02 ch 2,	abuseWow... that was cool! And thank you SO MUCH for sparing Arpeggio's life.
Oni Meowzi 2005-11-02 ch 2,	abuseAH! SLY IS CLOCKWERK! AH! Midnight: Whistles the Twilight Zone theme song Ok now that just makes it worse! Man Qing! You've got to update soon! That was SO cool! I can't wait to read more! You have an awesome story going! UPDATE SOON!
All-knowing Alien 2005-11-01 ch 2,	abuseYou know, the whole Clockwerk's brain being able to control some of Sly's movements reminds me of the relationship between the One Ring and Gollum, in LoTR...lol. I especially loved the ending, the "When they were children, Sly, Murray and Bentley had visited the Eiffel Tower on a field trip and were upset when they weren’t allowed to reach the tippy-top of the tower. They promised that someday, when they were all grown up, they would go to the top of the tower themselves and see the view. Though Sly was no longer with them and they were both knocked out, Murray and Bentley would have been happy to know that hey had come…close. As they were currently sleeping on the roof of the highest observation deck in the Eiffel Tower." Too bad sly wasn't there, no?
SmashQueen 2005-10-30 ch 2,	abuseSQ: (slaps face with both hands and screams) (twitches and huddles on floor) Faye: She's creeped out that she finally found an alternate ending to Sly 2 that was angst. SQ: (shivers) Faye: The Clockwerk/Sly thing creeped her out. SQ: (mumbles incohertly) Birdmonkeyrobot! Faye: She'll be waiting to see the third chapter.
Blackmooninthenight 2005-10-30 ch 2,	abusei like it, but it's kinda strange...
MeNt@lDuDe 2005-10-30 ch 2, anon.	abuseWow, that was unexpected. It was very well written... the whole Point-of-view thing paid off. The way Sly's feelings were shown was cool... very interesting. Can't wait for the next chapter. All I don't like, is Sly getting messed up by fusing with Clockwerk... wow.
Heiduska 2005-10-30 ch 2,	abusesniff well written! I just wish Sly will survive..! Update soon!
Heiduska 2005-10-30 ch 1,	abuseeek! This is not oging to end nicely...

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