First things first. You ramble waay too much. Try cutting the author's notes a bit (not that I should talk).

Overall, this fic is awesome, but the details need work. There are times when I'm not sure if Mizunagi or Lafayel is speaking because you keep their diaglogues in a single paragraph. There were a few places of confusion in the beginning as well, regarding Lafayel's thoughts.

I think you remained true to Lafayel's character, considering how little information we are given about him. Then again, that's true of all the characters and I agree, Kaname is hard to work with. It's surprising how your characterization of him is so similar to mine. Proud, bitter, capable of good, and socially awkward. I really like your interpretation.

Nice reference to mythology (I have to say, I absolutely LOVE you for this). A little note of defense for Atlanta: Golden apples are very shiny. I know I'd stop to pick them up.

I believe that's all for now. I'll have to read some of your other stuff later.

-Nodjmet

I love it! This story is actually what atarted my obsession for these two as a couple. heh. I hate pigeons but thats just me. great job!

*melts* Can I just worship at your feet for how absolutely wonderful this fic is? ^_^ Although Mizunagi 'smirked' rather a lot for my liking (don't mind me--I'm a terrible dork about redundancy, it makes me twitch. XD; And I'm married to my thesaurus. So yeah. :D;), they were both so in character it made me want to cackle with glee. 8D Although, we don't get to see that much of their characters in JO at all, so, um, gut feeling and utter extrapolation here. XD;

I really loved how you fleshed out Lafayel's character as an Eraser/angel, making him vulnerable to pollution and smoke and thus unable to eat. The premise is just so awesomely probable and creative (not to mention damned entertaining! Lafayel probably goes tree-hugging as a hobby. Or not. XD), and carried the story very well. And he's just so much vintage nasty, with just enough naivety to it, that it's unbearably cute when Mizu teases him; it's just gotta make one smile. ;3 His bitterness was also a nice touch, understated but definitely present. *heart* I dunno, I just like my tortured characters entirely too much. *laughs* And oh, the poor pigeons. XD;

A moment to fangirl over the Greek stuff (pure coincidence I've been fangirling over that stuff lately as well; yay Alexander/Hephaestion!) and all those other little details that it pleases me so much to see in a fic, no matter how insignificant, when the author takes the time to tuck them in. They just give that much more flavor to the story! Although I'm not terribly fond of apples myself, I snerk at the image of Lafayel swallowing seeds/stem/core. :D An angel with the table manners and the temper of a shrew. XDXD Shakespeare's been invading my brain lately as well, 'tis a rather bad combination. XD;

Now moving on to Mizu... He was so squeeable! XD *luff* You rounded him out so well. So suave and snarky and yet with his concern for a comrade surfacing at the same time--oh, you've officially turned me on to him as a character (although I don't know how it could have happened otherwise, he doesn't *do* much of anything in JO). Lafayel too (although, by the time he died I was already half-fallen). Your Mizu's such a sweet silly. He and Itsuki should get together sometime and he can teach the boy to blow smoke rings and be a general bad role model. ;3 ... *facepalm* I/this fic did not just somehow create a new pairing. And I thought his almost-defense of the human race was quite IC, I really liked it--especially the parts with Venus, but I've gushed over all that already. XD

... And I feel like I should say so much more in tribute to such an incredible piece of writing, but I'm coming up blank. XD; Uwaah, I fail at giving coherent reviews. ;_; I even need to make an outline for my RPG applications. *naturally fails even more at essays* Oh, yes, and my fangirl rabidly *insisted* on interpreting this as shounen-ai. My brain agrees with you that that would make little sense, but got bitten. -_-;

Oh, a few things I noticed... The punctuation's a little iffy in the beginning and kind of threw me off; I'm a bit picky on these things, especially in the beginning of the fic, and first impressions are important (although the pairing kept me reading, O shallowness). Also, the author's notes are... huge. :D; Not that it's necessary a *bad* thing, just the volume of stuff before the story actually starts tends to put some readers off. I skipped it. XD; But then went back to it after the story ended, because the story was so interesting I wanted to know what the author had to say--thus, I suggest moving everything non-story to the end. ;3 Oh, and your summary's cut off. XD; You could try taking out the ellipse. (Please note: I could only find mechanics and technicalities to criticize. This is a Very Good Thing.)

And now, just because, I'm going to respond to the author's notes. XD; *dork extraordinaire* Itsuki/Kaname I think could work based on their interaction from the series; Itsuki being friendly and open and dragging Kaname out of his shell and Kaname being there and quietly supportive when our adorable psychic (can you tell he's my favorite?) is being angsty. *grins* It just seems to have the potential to be a very sweet relationship, whatwith the little I've thought on it. And it eats the part of my mind that tries to point out that the main Mind Breaker group in JO is essentially a Mana-orgy with the exception of T&T being off in their own little world. D: Although, I have to say that with the exception of Itsuki, most of the other characters in JO seem 2-D or some sort of paragon of something to me. :/ In the same vein, TxT is sweet, but actually a little sugary for my tastes--I prefer my pairings to have a little spice--plus it has taken over the fandom. I'm a weird-ass crack artist who likes fringe pairings. ... Dear gods. This review's length... @_@; I'ma gonna quit rambling now.

This is actually technically the first JO fic that I've properly read and not just skimmed over as I was copying and pasting in my customary fandom raid on (or, if it's not, I'm going to pretend it is because I just remember it that way XD;). I just blew through all five volumes today, and so the obsession tide's still rather high. :D;

Hmm, okay. XD I feel like I just poured my soul out. Um. If you ever want to talk, I'm fyredra on LJ. And if you don't (and write more), I just might end up stalking you anyway. XDv

~Fyredra~

I really liked it! It seems IC to me, at least...keep writing!

I'm calling P.E.T.A. on you. You pick on birds.
XD
You even do funny well. I love the end!