Hiya! Well, I'm gonna give you some constructive critism. I'm not trying to attack your writing or anything. So, here it goes. I think the story is extremly general and fast moving. I realize that you're trying to get to certain points with thestory, but I think you should elaborate on some stuff. I also think you need to edit some of your sentance structure and spelling. I can do that for you at school if you like. The ideas and plot are good but need a bit more developing. As for the ending I have a few ideas that I would love to tell you about at school. That's mainly it. I also think your charicterization of some of the characters is a bit farfetched but I'll go with it. Lastly, I'll see you at school.
~Skrap

P.S. Wow, that's the longest review I've ever written!

what no

alright, now you got me hooked. you have to write the next chapter SOON! lol. anyways, talk at you later!
lus yas jessy

OMG A CLIFFHANGER! -gasp- Well, I must really be quite the weirdo to be enjoying all this...I adored chapter 6 of course, not because I like reading about people's inner and outer pain, but because it's really nice to read stuff when it's written so well. YESYESSYYES+ I'm on the phone with you...hehe.

Kay, let's start with this: I LOVE THIS CHAPTER! OMG IT WAS SO DAMN GOOD. I thought you were really a cheap immitation of a writer! Sorry, Kris! Fantastical! But one thing, where it says Have you ever felt like you wanted to curl up and die? NO. That's untrue. You know, I've felt that way before, and my friends. Me, not to spill everything, but when I was dumped for the most idiotic reason. I really loved that person. That's why my life is filled with crushes most of the time, and not passions. I don't let guys in a lot, so I guess now you know.^^ But see, just realize this, for some TIPS. Don't one little thing be the end of the world to you. Move on. There's way more in life that is really awesome that you have to enjoy! I'm such a geek...heehee...telling you this in a REVIEW. Oh well!

Oh, and what is your obsession with the word 'bastard'? Damn, that really got on my nerves...

yay i reviewed my own story! : ) ok i am really special. YAY CLIFF HANGER!

that was good. now we know what his past life was like. ny fav chap yet

hey very different, and odd and and well different. but it was good alot of details. if this were a realy book in stores and i was really into this type of stuff i would but it.

great chap but tired of typing with one hand.
jessy

great chap i loved the flash backs and the twists
jessy

ok the 2 chap was good. very kissy or as you call it snoggish. lol. well on to the next CHAPTER. dun dun dun dun. lol
biz

your chapter 1 was great now i gatto read the rest
luv yas
jessy

Goth MUCH? cool chapter, a little intense though..some gramatical erros, and rly depressing. it made me wanna slit my wrist too. But overall, your story is most poetic and touching, a littlt less snogging, and your golden!

I didn't read all the chapters (they're remarkably boring), so i can't really give you any constructive criticism. But I can tell you that you NEED constructive criticism.
please, please, please give Draco someone worth his while, at least! I can't think how Draco the Mudblood Hater would fall in love with some stupid, placemat-shaking, random MUGGLE. It's just terribly OOC
Oh, and it's CRUCIATUS, not Cruticas. Unless, of course, you have invented some spell to suit your story, which I highly doubt.

Omg! I loved this SO much. I really hope you continue this. you have a real talent for writing and i like all the description you used. it's really poetic. Tailia sounds really cool and I could really feel the romance between her and draco! but what will happent to luna? and we need to know the mystery behind the stuff with his mom!

btw i went to the town of surry for a holiday to britain lol