Hm...

I liked all the smoke references, and the way that Yuuko stops Watanuki just by looking at him. Because it's so in character for her to do it. It's very nifty - I like it ^_^

Around a couple of words (does and hate, to be specific) there's some kind of tag that doesn't do anything - em, then /em...

Interesting... Very interesting! i love it!

Oh my god, I love the connotations of this. It's fantastically well-written, and you say so much without actually saying it. Wonderful.