Reviews for The Ride of Uther

Reviews For: The Ride of Uther

Terenbas 2007-11-18 ch 2,	abuseUther's character is portrayed very realistically...for someone we see for 15 seconds. The interaction between the Lords was also interesting, although its kind of stange that Uther's father didn't say anything. He is the Marquess still, not Uther. Also, that thing with Elbert's full name was dumb. I'm sorry, it just was. Adding that little part, didn't help with the flow of the story. It just made me laugh. No offense intended. Last thing. Bandits? That seems a little too...un-epic for Uther. I mean he IS the awesome Marquess of Ostia we all worship. Why not add some political intrigue with the OTHER nations as well?
Velkyn Karma 2007-09-09 ch 2,	abuseThis chapter really seems to add to the story even further. The collection of bandits and their foul-mouthed conversations seem to add to the danger and it really shows what Uther's getting himself into. Your handle of the political goings-on of Lycia is well done, as well. I can really see all the political intrigue as they argue over their various problems, and I felt like I was sitting at the table with them. Even the touch about the 'illegitimate' child was an interesting addition and added to the court intrigue surprisingly nicely. I felt for poor Hector and his utter boredom, and once again the brotherly connction between him and Uther was very nice. Eliwood in all his awe was also very cute, and I liked your take on Marquess Elbert--he's a lot more businesslike (like any politician would be), and less a romanticized noble and proud man. The entire situation is very realistic. And once again, Uther's outburst in the council seems very in character--thoughtful and with good leadership attached to it, but with just enough of that famous Hector-esque impatience to make it obvious they're related. Very nice. I find it interesting that while reading this story, at the proposal of making an army, I could practically see this as a prequel-to-the-prequel...this plot seems to be sufficiently thought out enough for it to seem like a very probable game idea. With Uther as your next lord, and the various collecting of army men to buff up your tactics and stats. Once again, as far as criticisms go, the sentence structure could be varied a little more. As I noted in my last review, several of these paragraphs begin with the same thing, often 'he,' and it gives that section of the story a very mechanical, list-like quality. Vary your sentence structure and the story will become more vibrant and interesting to read. Whether or not you continue to update this (it seems you haven't in almost two years), this is still going on my favorites list. It's pretty well written, engaging, interesting, and new, so it deserves a little recognition. Have a fantastic day! ~Velkyn Karma
Velkyn Karma 2007-09-09 ch 1,	abuseThis is a very interesting fic! I'm quite pleased to see that somebody is giving Uther a little bit of attention. He has the potential to be a fascinating subject, from his actions in /Rekka no Ken/, but strangely enough this seems to be the only fic around that focuses on him. So first of all, congrats for originality. Very interesting beginning to the fic. Uther returns home from training--and he seems a little less controled and slightly more impulsive than he is in-game, which is an interesting parallel to Hector. It seems to make sense though, so from what I've seen, it looks like you're keeping his character delightfully IN character. The character interactions between Uther and Hector are great, too. I've always wondered how they acted as brothers, since you don't see them together too much in the game. /Rekka no Ken/ dialogue clearly states that Uther raised Hector when their parents died, which seems once again like it would be a fascinating story idea, but no one addresses this at all! So it's nice to see your take on their brotherly relationship. The same with young Hector and Eliwood (I enjoyed the fact that you had them fighting in their first meeting with each other. Most fanfictions that concern their pasts seem to have them become the best of friends near-instantaneously. Again, congrats for a little originality). As a quick crit, I would suggest you watch your sentence structure. Many of your sentences within a paragraph begin with the same thing, usually 'he.' This makes the reading a little flatter when the same thing is repeated over and over, and it looks a little sloppy. Try to vary how you begin your sentences, as well as your sentence structure. For example: "Uther nodded, still smiling, grabbed his Lochaber axe and moved out of the room. He walked down the familiar corridors until he came to his room. Opening the door, he saw that the servants had already moved his things in. He placed his Lochaber axe to the side, then he began to remove his armour. He changed into a loose, blue tunic with cream britches. He sighed with relief, glad to be out his stuffy armour. He then moved once again out of his room to look around the castle. He strolled leisurely, and greeted all the servants he came across. He eventually ended up in outside, and habitually heading towards the training grounds. He paused when he reached there, and then leant on a tree and smiled." This is a very long paragraph, and note that with the exception of 'opening the door,' all of these begin with 'he.' It makes the paragraph read a lot like a list. If you break this up a little by varying sentences and their organization, this could be made a lot more engaging. Very good idea overall. Nice job, and I compliment you once again for the fact that you wrote something original but very eye-catching. ~Velkyn Karma
trimurti 2005-10-20 ch 1,	abuseI, for one, am ecstatic to see something about Uther. By the way, that's a very nice title. It conveys a sense of epic heroism (that, and it reminds of The Ride of the Valkyries). As far as the story goes, I'm interested. It's interesting to see Uther as somewhat hotheaded, not unlike Hector. I like how the plot is churning; it really seems like it'll go somewhere, and we readers will want to go along for the ride. :) Seeing Hector and Eliwood and their little interaction was cute, as well. What struck me as odd was seeing that the people are 'loosing' confidence; I certainly hope they've just lost it and aren't actually setting it loose in the countryside or something! Oh, and not to be pendantic, but isn't it 'Wolf Beil' and not 'Wolfbeil'? Well, I'm interested in seeing how your story goes. I hope you feel better soon, and good luck with future chapters of your works!
Sara Jaye 2005-10-20 ch 1,	abuseYes, you should continue. This story looks really interesting, and I always liked Uther.
lack thereof 2005-10-19 ch 1, anon.	abuseWow! That was really, really awesome! I love Uther. He's the coolest guy ever. I'm SO glad someone decided to write a fic about him; it's about damn time! I really liked the descriptions of little Eliwood and Hector, and how Hector was stumbling around with his Wolf Beil at first. It was very cool! And I can't wait to see how Uther will deal with Lycia's bandit promblem. It sounds like it's gonna be a really neat story. Continue, by all means!

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