 caos950042 2006-01-24 . chapter 1As other people have said, his name is Ryosuke. Honestly, This story is like a frog's leg. No meat. Hopefully, you can fix it, unless it's just another one-shot. |
 shimo hyozan 2005-11-07 . chapter 1sorry, but I can't help not to comment a bit, so may I just critic a little bit? Okay, first off, The older Takahashi's name is Ryousuke Takahashi (but you know this already, since someone corrected you). The other comment I have is on your spelling and grammar. Maybe you could spell and grammar check them before posting your story? This will help you get more reviews and feedbacks. Don't worry, you'll improve along the way...oh, please don't take this as a flame, just criticing you for improvement, okies?
On the other hand, you have a good story and plot,and you can probably add a second chapter. Just suggesting.. ^^ |