Whoa. Freaky. And very suiting for halloween. Of course, hardly anyone will review it becuase all they're interested in is reading about the romances that they've always wanted to see. Most other fanfic writers don't care about good stories, well written detailed works, or anything else that's truly good. They just want their corny romances. And if you have a character hook up with an original creation, you're even more screwed for reviews...

Sorry got carried away with my own frustrations there. I always make a point to review everything I read, unless it's truly too terrible to read at all, which has only happened a couple of times.

Anywho, excellent attention to emotional details. You clearly have a knack for creating great mental images through your writing. The opening was absolutely fantastic with Magus having the mental argument with nature. Truly well executed.

Later on, I felt like there was a bit much on the dialogue with less emphasis on details, and there were a few places where things were italicized and shouldn't have been near the beginning.

Your descriptions of the characters themselves could use a bit of work. Although most people (Maybe everybody) who reads your story will be familiar with the characters already, describing them in detail gives the reader an very clear image of how your writing and your Chrono Trigger characters differ from others, and it also sets up a style of writing that readers may learn to know and enjoy from you.

Overall, I think it's very good, and it could work very well as a much longer story as well (without killing off the two main characters of course).

Great job, and keep up the good writing!

-Evanlicious