it sounds beautiful but i'm at a loss as to what it is about. is there a main thought or thoughts? the end sound like a conclusion. i just can't understand what the conclusion came fromg aboutoing back to what was she thinking about or rather what was bothering her.

this is a good try. you should keep trying. just remember if you do another piece of writing try to have the main thought(s) more in focus so the readers understands what it is about.

oh try not to tell people that your piece of writing is confusing, strange, weird and/or etc...
it will more often then not make people ignore you story. most people can't be bothered to read things that will leave them confused.

i don't mean to offend.

i hope some of this helps.

bye