I agree that they could have done more with Seven's character.
I love this story, I didn't read it before you re-wrote it, but nevertheless i prefer this version. =]
I like the way seven has become almost childlike in her quest for safety, and i can't wait for b'elana to ride in as a knight in shining armour. Congrats on an awesome story - Lollilops

I love it thrus far. Please do keep writing. Oh, and your little added comments in between chapters is so funny. Thanks for writing.

I completely am addicted to the fic. Great job! Update, please?

love it, cant wait for the next update

Ok, this is some **. Where is the rest of the story? Seriously?

Okay, now that you're re-writing this, can you please delete your first draft? Technically, it shouldn't be up anyway, saved on your computer in Word or something but not here. It's confusing to read your authors notes in the middle of every section of your story. One minutes Seven's getting her ** violated, then next your starting to talk about bad reviewers in the next paragraph.

You should always remove the first draft if you're going to post a re-write. I read the 1st draft completely (thinking it was only the first chapter) and then went through the next few chapters painstakingly trying to figure out what was new and what I had already read.

I'm just a little confused. First, I got here a few days ago from a post on VJB, and read your 1st draft (which looks like as it was on VJB in those 2 postings) plus Fear, Hate, and Sanctuary. And my confusion is that I thought I saw a line somewhere on Sanctuary that you said you couldn't/wouldn't? be able to finish it? Okay, just reread `first draft` again and found it.
I think you Can continue your orginal concepts without the rewrites, you can actually base Janeway's descent on/in Canon, and as for getting your thoughts back on track based on your first draft, take a step back and focus on B'Elanna as she tries to get back to work (updating herself with her staff in Engineering, and as Seven was in charge she'll have a few PADD's ready for her review and be on hand to answer questions... or not?) Also as she learned things from Harry and Tom, there are many others; Carey, Vorik, Chakotay, Neelix, the Doctor, Naomi, Celes, the Delanney sisters. The Messhall, Staff meetings, lots of little things.
I think with just cutting that last scene with B`Elanna in C-bay 2 looking for Seven and maybe shifting it back further a bit after we see B` settling back in.
You don't have to give us the readers any graphic imagery or detailed blow-by-blow of the Physical assault of Seven by Janeway.
( “Before the night is through… you will BEG for my touch.” And as she felt her body respond to the renewed touches, Seven knew without a doubt that what the older woman said was true.

‘Borg do not feel. I am Borg. I must adapt.’ )
To help you refocus, just take a piece of white unlined paper, draw a line the length of it, mark it in the middle with a bi-secting line and note it as the end where Naomi visits Seven in the bay. To the left is what has come before, and to the right is what shall be whatever you write. Or do it as days, that line is again when Naomi visits, then put dots (one for each day going back to your first scene) above and below the line, noting that your characters were where and doing what. Please write me back. Doug

I was hoping you wouldn't let this story die ^_^ I love it, and I want to know how everything will unfold too ^_^ I'll be keepin an eye on you

I'm on board. I'm really interested in where this is going. Don't forget this story!

I'm really liking how you're developing the situation a lot more than before, and I love how more focus and insight is given to Seven's reactions and feelings this time.

I'm glad that you'll be continuing this. I was afraid it was going to be one of those many awesome fics that never get finished.

Janeway sexually harrassing Seven: Nice.

Might not be nice to be Janeway when they get back to the Alpha Quadrant and Seven files charges.

I have to say, I am not into the whole f/f thing. I am DEFINITELY not into the Janeway-is-a-cold-hearted ** thing, either. Ok that's not true, I AM, but I like her to have a good reason for being a **. I am not into the whole Seven-is-a-child thing, either. In my opinion, anyone with the life experiences of billions of individuals can't be all that innocent. Or virginal. (Can you tell I am unfortunately JC oriented?)

NOW... all of that said and out of the way...WOW. Wow. This is not a bad story. This is a damned GOOD story. Somehow, this entire thing is working for me. The way the story is written, taking bits from canon and then expounding...it actually makes a sort of sick sense. (Gulp, I just committed like eight cardinal sins in admitting that, didn't I?)

The writing is excellent, with insight into the feelings/ motivations of the characters involved. Too often that seems to be overlooked in fanfic.
The subtle humor is appreciated, too. Particularly B'Elanna's annoyance with Seven at having been made sympathetic to her arch-enemy.

Wow. I would recommend this story to anyone, actually.

Any chance you could be begged for a JC story? (Janeway can be as dark as you like, somehow you make it work!)

Any chance I could beg a JC story out of you, with Janeway as dark as you like? I have a feeling it would be mind-blowing.

This is really good. Hope you update soon!