Awesome try to update more please!! ^.^

OH!I jut finished all of yoir story in an hour.It was just siply so amazing.I ove this couple but pity,i have a simliar idea for that couple too but it's going to e different so u dont have to worry about me copying your ideas.Haha,I just live happy endings.Shido's character was so well kept and it's jsut simply a great fic.Jackal, the puppet master?Kind of didnt think that but wow!This was amazing.

You're a great writer & this story was too cute. Keep writing. =D

Nice Story! LOVE IT!

woo hoo!

it was very romantic...but the ending was quite short...is there a chapter7?or will it take this fick to an "M" rating if you do.

it was very sweet. my favorite part was the end actually. well, technically it wasn't the end but the part where Shido saves Madoka and he cries. lovely job. keep writing!

Hmm. I must say this chapter resembled a graph sliding down and shooting up again. And the ending wasn't the screwed-up part.

First of all, it was a little too predictable with Akabane and that Sako fellow. Maybe Akabane could've made his appearance a few more micro-seconds after the beginning of the chapter?

The Puppet Master thing wasn't very shocking. Okay, it made me giggle, (not meant in offence, honest) but if we'd seen a few flashes and glimpses of the Puppet Master, it would have made a harder impact. But it just shows absolutely *nothing* is beyond Jackal...

["...I had acquired several allies in my travels abroad, whom you see now, defeated,” he ended tersely.]
Me being annoyingly pedantic again, but he really didn't make a long enough speech for the "ended," y'know. But he definitely *was* more eloquent than that usual "Oh me, oh my," tone he puts on half the time.

*Shido* is the killer-beast? Wow. Usually it's Ban, but heck, you can't expect Shido to be particularly passive when he's flaming mad.

[Akabane’s eyes widened in horror...]
Attack of the technicality freaks again, but I don't thing Shido was scary enough to *shock* crap out of Akabane (if you excuse the language.) I'm pretty sure that he's aware of Shido's potential, and add livid fury of Maryuudo clansmen to that, but even so, it doesn't seem like anything so terrifyingly new. I was under the impression, Akabane had seen the full-frontal-attack Shido in action before.

And surely, Dr. Jackal steels himself for fights with even allies?

But definitely kudos for producing a fight scene that's only fringes away from the anime visual— it was easy to picture, and with that, it was good.

[Then, taking Akabane by the neck, he grinded him against the ground. With a roar of triumph, he whisked away ...]
Um, you never mentioned what happened to Akabane after that? Usually he slinks away looking smug, but the next part just sees Ban barking orders and everyone kinda ignores the un/conscious Akabane. Aww, what gives?

I really like the evil Sako. But I keep picturing that green-haired one from "Hungry Heart" with an evil grin and a gun... But he makes a better villain than a fiancé.

The only thing wrong about this chapter/story is that you understated their emotions seriously. You've done a good job of focusing with Shido and Madoka's hurt, anger and love, but the flip side to that is the others get left out.

When Ban and Ginji appear at the window, you don't mention a word about their feelings, their emotions.

And you only focused on Ban with the Puppet Master thing. Ginji's supposed to be flying into a storm of righteousness like he does in every single episode; you've deprived him of his fundamental right! How could you?! ... ::grins laconically::

It was also pretty cute how fast Himiko, Kazuki and Jubbei wrapped up Sako. Maybe they should start "Charlie's Angels," without Charlie?

[Shido held a quivering Madoka, her flowing hair draped over his arms.]
Nice. *Very* nice ... Only "draped" came like a wet fish to the mood, if you see what I mean.

But the line after that was a nice clincher.

Mrs. Otawa becomes decent again? Why! I liked that no-good, vinegar, control-freaky woman of a **! (yes, the last four words are in proper order) Anyway, at least they get their happy ending. Good things don't go poof at least.

Although, I do think you ended it too fast. (All your finished multi-chapters seem to be having six chapters. Self-styled trend?) I'd have liked to see more of this, but not really a sequel for what it's worth.

PS. I updated both the Akabane and the RyuxMeg fics. (*Finally*...)

aw.. it's so sweet.. ^_^

Threatening reviewers, now? ::raises an eyebrow, although with her facial muscles it's quite impossible:: Dirty underhandness is the phrase actually, that you've roped in Toshiki who's skyrocketing on my favourite characters list, especially to liven up a story with the same namesake as Vikram Seth's. ::grimaces::

And I don't *believe* you stole the Puppet Master from Ghost In the Shell! (Brilliant anime, though. ::lapses into reverential silence::)

On the characterization note, Ban if you remember the anime, isn't really all *that* perverted. I mean, not enough to shout too loud and jeopardize a mission if he thought Ginji was complaining of infertility, y'know. (Which makes me ask, *why* was the whole cast and crew roped in for the Puppet Master's capture? If I'm not mistaken, they're retrievers and transporters, and yet I don't remember Kazuki mentioning a commodity in his briefing.)

Also, as a professional agent, isn't it Hevn's responsibility to *personally* ensure Shido knows the details of the case?

About Himiko's new poison, well, isn't it too risky for her to concoct something that'll wipe her out with one go? I mean, if she only used the Acceleration Scent as last resort *and* it slowly sapped her strength, then isn't this new one of hers potentially deadly if she uses it readily *and* gets knocked out?

And why is Ban yelling *electric eel*? And, *why* oh why, does he murder everybody like Yamato? All I've seen him do in the anime to thugs and co. is wrench their shoulders to breaking point, not smash a hole through their middle. ::shrugs::

But aside from all that, it's nice. Plot development *at last*!! ::yips like a chihuahua::

update dammit! really good

Great fic! Your writing style is great, and I love the romance. Keep up the grand work!

-SNN

Yay ! A new chapter ! =)
And quite funny. Keep it coming !

SHIDO TO THE RESCUE!

I know in some cultures, it's tradition for the parents to marry off their daughter but what irks me is that IT'S HER FRIGGIN LIFE!! *eye twitch* And her mother is a complete whiny **...GR!

Sorry, anyways, that was so good and I cannot wait for the next chapter! ^^