 psycochick32 2009-12-06 . chapter 1I realized I reviewed the sequel to this but not this one-shot! So I'm going to slip in here and get this done.
First, a bit of constructive criticism - timeline-wise, it doesn't really make sense with the Trini bit. Jason, Zack and Trini didn't leave for the Peace Conference until after Tommy became the White Ranger. So if this is set 10 days after Tommy came back, they'd just be getting to the arc with the Peace Conference and preparing them to leave.
:) That being said, I just mentally did some timeline shaking and went with it anyway ;) It's too awesome to waste time on minor details.
You write banter so well - between guys and girls, between two girls, between guys - it's different for each. It's almost spooky.
I have to admit I actually kind of cringed, kind of squealed when Tommy first spoke up. It's that moment of "OMG YAY He came to talk to her!" tinged with "OMG What did he hear!?" - You wrote it so well that I actually *felt* it, and so few people actually DO that (much less do it well, as you do).
I always thought they glossed over the whole T/K aspect of him leaving. There was the big deal about Jason missing him and feeling guilty, but poor Kim! She gets a kiss, a date... and then he disappears. Way to inspire confidence in a girl!
"He was staring at her lips and if he kissed her she knew she'd pass out. She wanted to pass out." I laughed out loud. It's a very Kimberly-ish way of thinking.
*grins* The shooting star was a great, corny addition and I giggled through it. Absolute love for the whole one-shot, I'm tellin' ya. |