Reviews for Rainbow Six - FanFiction.Net

Reviews For: Rainbow Six - Reviews: Page 1 of 3

Tigger-69 2008-04-01 ch 10,	abuseA great chapter and a great story, I look forward to seeing the further training of the new recruits and the ongoing conflict. Please continue.
Jerry Unipeg 2008-03-26 ch 10,	abuseGREAT CHAPTER! (*x4) Nice trainning, thank you for using my name.
sscrivener 2008-03-24 ch 1,	abuseOK, item: LA does not have ghettos. Ding is most likely from East LA, the San Gabriel Valley. Cities like El Puente and West Covina. And, not to put too fine a point on it, the city is Los Angeles. Or, if you wanna be particular, El Ciudad de nuestra Senora, la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula. As Jack Webb said: This is the City. Los Angeles, California. I work here. I carry a badge. DUM DE DUM DUM. DUM DE DUM DUM DUM...
Ghost 2007-01-17 ch 1, anon.	abuseGood story so far, just have to point out one of the flaws, Heathrow airport is just out side London, Hereford is on the English/Walsh border, that’s a good 2 to 3 hours car journey. That taxi driver would be a very happy man for that journey.
yellulhchicken 2006-11-04 ch 4,	abuseno. just... no. Wel ok more than just no. everything was just too wraped up all nice and clean. And Taro? He's an overated character. Seriously! Genma could wipe the floor with him. He's nothing but a bully with a cheep powerup. With the nekoken Ranma could cut him in half. Hell even without the nekoken or the sealed techniques. Have you seen Read or Die (dont watch the sequel it's disapointing)?? look at how they placed a super powered character into the group. This story has potential though but please finish you "Origins: The Story of Clan Saotome" story line.
gort420 2006-10-05 ch 9,	abusenice little fic,
Jerry Unipeg 2006-10-04 ch 9,	abuseGREAT CHAPTER! (*x3) Nice build up for future chapters.
Ghost 2006-10-04 ch 1, anon.	abusehaven’t read all of it but it seems interesting, but just one thing to point out, heathrow is just outside of london, hereford is by the walsh border, that’s about three or more hours by road. the cab driver would be a happy man if he got that journey. but looking good anyway.
TenWings 2006-10-04 ch 9,	abuseupdate soon
Natalie-E-G 2006-09-01 ch 6,	abuseI finally got to the end of what you have written and released. I know this is going to sound like a lot of criticism. As I said earlier you are doing MUCH better, but you still have weak points. This time at least I can be much more specific. A suggestion that you might like. I am taking a French course right now. I notice you are using a "/" for a quote for the French. That is ok since you have defined it so, but if you want something appropriate, use "" as in 'The professor said . Those are the actual French quote marks though they have a key that does them as one stroke like we have " key instead of using `` or ''. On the good side: I like the story and only one mistake detracted from my enjoyment of the story (I tried finding it for documenting but could not find it.). On the bad side: The most annoying things are (and as I said they did not interrupt enjoyment, rather caused me to say "huh? that does not add up." like a movie blooper: 1. there are 11 groups of 20 or so people. How do we have 450 terrorist bodies? That is over twice as many as accounted for. 2. if amongst the bodies are the 26 major terrorists were being tracked and just disappeared off the map, the SAS should know who attacked them. (I will say if that was the best people the terrorist had, the organization should be almost totally crippled, if not destroyed.) One thing that took a little getting used to was the constant repeating of sentences. I know this is common, when switching views to help synchronize for the reader the events and thoughts of the characters but you were not doing that. You did a little synchronization but... You repeated the end of what happened each time we switched BACK to a view like being given a refresher course. This is great between chapters but not so great within a chapter, especially as short as your chapters are. You definitely need to use both a grammar checker and a spell checker. your and you're, where and were (only homonyms where pronouned very badly), to and too, etc. as well as other spelling errors. Only one spelling error really made me stumble over the word and have to try and figure out what was being said. Unfortunately I cannot remember what it was. The next may be perceived as a flame -- my most severe remarks * Danger Will Robinson * I truly hope you are not the product of the school system in the United States, England, Australia, New Zealand, Canada, ... You indicate you are a high school student. If English is a second language for you, congradulations you are doing real well. I wish my German, Spanish, Japanese, or French were anywhere near as good. If you are a native of the USA, UK, Australia, etc, you really need to work a whole lot more. While most of the grammar and spelling mistakes are all but inevitable for a person who has not grown up in the English language, they are really rookie mistakes for someone that has.
Jerry Unipeg 2006-08-31 ch 7,	abuseGREAT CHAPTER! (*x3) Let the hunt begin.
Natalie-E-G 2006-08-31 ch 3,	abuseI am one of the people that made some really strong remarks about your first version. This one is MUCH better. You still have a problem with homonyms. Things like saying "They where going to the store" instead on "They were going to the store." Where is for location, were is for state of being or to assist with the tense of a verb. I think I said the previous time, your story was giving me a headache just trying to read it. No headache now and it is enjoyable so far. I would still flunk you in an English course for grammar (mostly minor stuff) and homonyms, BUT for flow and creative writing you would get good marks. I can now say I will look for other stuff by you and I trust you will continue to improve.
James Axelrad 2006-08-31 ch 7,	abusefun chapter
Jerry Unipeg 2006-03-06 ch 6,	abuseGREAT CHAPTER! Great fighting.
HolyKnight 2006-03-06 ch 6, anon.	abuseRanma on Nekoken Berserker mode using the SenKen forbidden schools? anyone has a mop and a lot of bags for body parts?

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