 kaihou 2006-12-16 . chapter 2PLEASE, PLEASE CONTINUE! The plot is as great as I imagined it to be. x] I want Ranma back! =D
So anyway, the way you wrote it was a little... weird? I don't know... It sort of pulled you in at first, then it got boring. I'm not really an expert at making exciting transitions, but there maybe could be a bit more to it.
And... what's with the sudden romance? It threw me completely off track! @_@ You could've put more details to their 'dates' or whatever, it makes the reader happier! =D
But overall, I really want to see more of this story. PLEASE WRITE THE REST! No more 'jumping to conclusions'! x] [[and don't take oh so long to update xP]] ^^;; |
 kaihou 2006-12-16 . chapter 1O... good story so far. But the thing is that the only thing keeping me from stopping to read this is the fact that the summary said that Akane and Ranma confess their love to each other. x] Well, I don't know... maybe it's just me... @_@ Well, on to the next chapter!
PS xP I was wondering if you made up the names 'Megumi' and 'Yukimura'... ^^' But hey, it's a lot easier than making up weird names x] |
 Story Weaver1 2006-12-12 . chapter 2'irrational fear' LOL! The irony of that statment is hilarious. Although it is somewhat hard to believe that Akane could go 3 months without getting kidnapped XD. it seems thatr fate has been reserved for ranma this time. |
 TingLiang 2006-12-07 . chapter 2AH! Finally!! after one year of waiting...
It's amazing how you manage to keep these 2 arguing from the beginning until the end of this chapter! Good job! Can't wait for the new development! (please don't tell me it's going to be another year!! please...)
Besides, I am so glade my friendly reminder DID worked!! :) |
 thereviewergirl 2006-12-05 . chapter 2uh-oh. and now trouble begins. good one! :p |
 Kachie 2006-12-05 . chapter 2still digging this fic. . . my only criticism (if you can really call it that) is those missing three months. Maybe some side stories? ^_^ |
 studdevil 2006-12-05 . chapter 2Ah! I was wondering when you were going to throw in the 411/911 shampoos! I love how you write, it never gets boring and it's always fun to read. Please continue! |
 krizue 2006-12-05 . chapter 2hey!
i didn“t like this last part, damn amazon, i was loving everything, they trying to get along and everything but this bimbo has to ruin everything...
great fic!!
UPDATE SOON |
 PheonixFarwind 2006-12-05 . chapter 2this could be interesting. how are the other nwc going to react to shampoo's latest plan? |
 Story Weaver1 2006-10-16 . chapter 1Continue? This is such a good fic. Ranma and Akane are so IC |
 Kachie 2005-12-09 . chapter 1I'm definitely looking forward to more. ^_^
::goes off to put you on the author alert list:: |
 TingLiang 2005-12-02 . chapter 1Well, very interesting start, I agree with you, I also think the only way for these two to get together is separate them for a while.
You know what? the name "Megumi" you used for Akane's roommate is actually the name of Japaness voice actress of female Ranma (Her name is Hayashi, Megumi);)
I am really looking forward to your next chapter, it's so nice to find someone has the same opinion as I do :) |
 MindReaper 2005-11-30 . chapter 1 Hey, pretty good opening. It's nice to see some decent grammar in a story for a change. It's also fun to see some of the horrible missunderstandings and comedy that I enjoyed from the original manga. And don't worry about the lack of Ranma knowledge. Having read 5 volumes, you are actually ahead of probably 80% of the fanfiction writers here. It's different to see someone introduced to Ranma through the manga rather than the anime. You get very different styles and outlooks which I actually prefer. The first few volumes of the manga are good to get a general knowledge and appreciation of the character's styles and habits and you have done a good job with the knowledge you have. They don't actually change that much in the complete story, it's more episodic comedy than character growth in flavor until near the very end.
Anyway, I did enjoy what you have here and hope to see more. And I agree with you, their families are completely insane. But that's what makes it so funny. |
 Vaniah 2005-11-30 . chapter 1Cute! This story definitely has promise, but I'd recommend you change the formatting becausee it's very difficult to follow as it is right now. The basic rule of thumb is that the dialogue and the person who is saying it should always be on the same line. So change this:
"Oh it seems I've hit a sore spot." Ranma growled and aimed a punch straight for Yukimura's smirk.
"Would you just knock it off!" Yukimura dodged and continued to smile smugly.
"You know what you need Ranma? A little advice from the master of love." Ranma's eyebrow twitched in irritation.
"And whom might that be?" A vein popped in Yukimura's head and he tried to kick Ranma.
"It's me you idiot!"
to this:
"Oh it seems I've hit a sore spot."
Ranma growled and aimed a punch straight for Yukimura's smirk. "Would you just knock it off!"
Yukimura dodged and continued to smile smugly. "You know what you need Ranma? A little advice from the master of love."
Ranma's eyebrow twitched in irritation. "And whom might that be?"
A vein popped in Yukimura's head and he tried to kick Ranma. "It's me you idiot!"
Big difference in clarity and continuity. Also, just a general piece of characterisation advice, get R and A past the bickering stage soon. Right now, it just seems like the same old Ranma and Akane against a new backdrop, and that could get very old very fast.
Good work and keep it up! :) |
 Horosha no Kage 2005-11-30 . chapter 1For doing a Ranma fanfic for the first time I believe you did a good job. I'm not great in writing, so I wouldn't see any major faults. All I can do is wait for another chapter, hee. Don't give up! Even though you haven't read the whole series, it shouldn't stop you from writing--'sides, I think this story has potential. |