pretty good for a first attempt at a songfic. there was nothing wrong with the lyrics or the

way you interwove them with your writing. what i noticed was the sometimes the present/past

tense was mixed up a little. i suggest you get a beta reader if you're unsure about

your writing or only for a general comment and help. *smiles* keep it up. *best*

Good fic but you messed up on a couple phrases from the song. One is "Without me his world would go on turning." The other is "A world that's full of happiness that I have never known!" I own the CD. It's still a very good fic.