Brilliant writing. there was one grammar mistake that caught my eye...i forget where... it doesn't really matter anyways. Your writing passes over it without so much as a glance. I can't believe you're only..14? That's what your little author thing said. Amazing. You should try to get seriously published

ah, you are so fantastic. this is great! I'm trying DESPERATELY to force myself to think helpfully but it's really not working. This is brilliant just as it is. and I would gladly offer my services as an editor, except you probably wouldn't want me cos:
~ I'm crap at answering email when I get snowed under at school
~ I'm overly picky and really am a grammar **

so i'm useless. sorry. but great fic! *sighs* i'll go away and stop wasting your time now...

this is awesome. i want a sequel, but i see why it ends there rather than expanding... it could be so cool as a novel (carlas sweet in this story)

the characters are very much in character, but i think the best thing about this fic is the descriptions. the bolero dance is so... vivid in this. i cant get a lot of the imagery out of my head. keep it up. i hope you do good in the challenge.

This is a really lovely piece of work, not so much in the dialogue (Although that was good too) as in the way you describe things.
Is this going to be continued? Is this intended to be an AF/CF romance, or just generally romantic?

Very good. Carla has always been portrayed as a rather 2-D character, I love the new spin this story takes on her. It is a wonderful response to a challenge from one of the more sophisticated fanfic sites. I hope you are recognized for it. Hmm... the bolero is a Spanish dance, correct? The surname 'Frazetti' always struck me as more Italian. But excellent, nevertheless. I hope you find a good editor but your writing seems fine to me without one.

Ah! It's over...no! I LOVED THAT! I LOVED IT! I LOVED IT! Did I forget to metion that I LOVED it!? I love how you wrote about the Bolero...it's one of my favourite dances to dance. It's so original! I hope you continue writing!
-PeanutButterOreoCookieGirl

this is cool. i like the descriptions. i felt like ripping carlas head off at the end. i mean, arty! drools...

Again, excellent. The descriptions were certainly vivid (your forte, really) but they don't explain the bolero to those who've never seen it before; they're good for those who have seen it performed before, to see it from that perspective. The 'when' and 'where' of the scene was left somewhat abandoned; again, most people have never been to a bolero club before so they have no idea what the layout is, and though it is obvious that Artemis is a young man later in this fic, it might be slightly confusing at first.

I would add an allusion or two to the two's connection in tEC. And, to emphasize Carla's heritage, maybe some Italian words mixed in.

Still, excellent. The bolero made an interesting metaphor. Not as rough as 'Descent,' but, yes, it could use an editor. I'd volunteer, but I'm no good at such things.