 Micayasha 2007-07-05 . chapter 1That was wonderful! You captured Squall's voice so well (especially the first three lines - I laughed out loud)! I love how subtle you were about Squall's mysterious benefactor, but not so much that readers can't figure out who sent it. The anonymity of the note, for some reason, makes it more effective.
This makes me wonder how Laguna got the coffee into Squall's cupboard!
This was fantastic, though. Little nitpick, though - you say Squall filled his coffe mug up to the 'brink', but I think you mean 'brim'? According to a brink is 'any extreme edge; verge.' |