A good story, I loved how disjointed it is. While it might be tempting to go back and link the narrative more cleanly, I think that the broken nature of it all was intentional, reflecting the broken mental state of our dear Ms Jane Lane.

You have a dark, snarky sense of humor that I usually love reading, but I found this particular story unnecessarily complex and confusing.

Even after accepting the premise set up in Part One (see how neatly I talk about this without spoilers?), I had problems believing the rest the of the parts. I sort of felt like I was reading two separate stories, one shouting "Yes, this is what's happening," the other shouting, "No, this is what's happening." I stopped trusting the narration by about Part Three.

If the complex back-and-forth is what you're really aiming for with this, I think you could write it better if you allowed yourself more time and space to develop the story. Maybe build up Part One more, making certain actions more plausible, maybe consider an ending that doesn't depend on drug use as a deus ex machina. I like this dark world of 'what if,' but I think you can develop it more.