Alone, your work is a dramatic, very fluid, and good. However, I personally cannot picture Tomoe actually saying these words. Perhaps another character but not her. She sounds too garrulous; it would probably be more realistic if it were a diary entry than an actual thought, b/c I've always imagined her as a quiet woman of few words.

Despite the rambling above, I like your piece. Just don't forget the disclaimer! -_~

Hey..

This is good introspective Tomoe piece.. The entire draw of her thought trend is well painted.

There is just one thing i'd like to point out... "The very person who slaughtered my first love and crushed me!" has a bit of a weakness, namely "first love" concept eats away from the opening idea... " Is it not what I wanted…to love, and be loved in return?".. a little re-wording(at either point) would do tons to the fic.. ^_^

Cya..

That was a good Tomoe fic. I really like the inner-monologue...it was right, lol.

Beautifully written.

Until the next time: Happy writings!